Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Irony of a Scorned Man

Men live in an epitome of prediction, of fanatic deriliction belief that they show too much of how they feel.

I have gone out with this guy for a long time before and we were over even before we started. The relationship began as a need for rebound, the search for tenderness when I was reeling with sadness or confusion, I think it was more confusion that led me into his arms. He was just lonely, maybe much more than me. We took each other in, became friends, became more than friends. But somehow, one of us was not happy, that one was not me. I owe it to myself to be happy, so I let go. Or tried to. And I did. But why does it never end at all?

The scorned man comes back over and over again, sometimes seething with anger with a passion to kill me, other times begging as if I was the only meaning in his life. How much more of a closure must I declare? It bothers me the way anger comes in the way of how we communicate. So much hostility yet it keeps on as if there is really hope. For what? If only I have the luxury to just disappear, go somewhere else, in Italy maybe. But I have to put up, I do not even know why. This must be curse of meeting the wrong persons in our lives.

I would admit, letting go and getting over someone is a painful process. But if you have let go and gotten over something already, why does it affect you when the person comes back to tell you he wants you back? It is difficult to comprehend sometimes. I have always been the one who runs away. I do not know how to end, I just let things happen and let emotions fade, or simply I go away so I did not have to say goodbye to the real situation that I need to let go of. It is an expensive and immature way but we deal with our problems the way we deem best.

I just feel like I am so tired of men acting like kids. Please grow up, maybe I will like you again.

xtrastats free counter


Free Hit Counter