the idle bard

Long time

2010-06-02T16:12:00.000+08:00

Does this still work?

July 2008

2008-07-17T17:19:00.001+08:00

Something is definitely wrong with blogspot. It's homepage is now mostly in Arabic and my posts are not updated at all...

2008 - New and better beginnings

2008-01-04T18:13:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!!

Its been awhile since I've written here. Lots of things have happened in 2007 since the last entry I had here. These are among them..

September
- I left my old company, found a new job, started with the new job

October
- Left my old flat, moved to a new flat (after 6 choices)

November
- Got a new cat named Cookie
- Sold my Mazda 3 Sports - my Silverine...

December
- I hosted Christmas Eve party at home
- Closed 3 credit cards! Yipee!

I am looking forward to 2008 with aims below:

- Close more credit cards
- Get a new car
- Save more money
- Travel to Europe
- Buy another house
- Apply for new citizenship (been thinking of it recently, coz of some disappointments)
- Meet more successful Filipinos
- Make my flat cleaner everyday
- Finish the book compilation

Well, I still have 360 days to look forward to as God allows me then maybe add and fulfill these aims.

Here's to good health, good life, good cheer!!

God bless us all.

Shopping Spree..... Wilder than Ever

2007-07-29T16:11:00.000+08:00

Massimmo Dutti
-pants
AED180.00
-sack skirt
AED190.00
-sack shoes
AED190.00

XOXO
-skirt+pants+jacket
AED150.00

MEXX
-blue-flowered top
AED89.00

Paris Gallery
-Lolita Perfume
AED365.00
-Another Perfume
AED385.00
-Shiseido Perfume
AED176.00
-Shiseido Moisturizer
AED202.00
-Shiseido Blush
AED149.00
-Shiseido Foundation
AED188.00

Strandbags
-Red Croc Bag
AED149.00

Grand Stores
-Orange Bag
AED149.00

Mango
-White pants
AED80.00
-Brown Skirt
AED140.00
-Beige pants
AED69.00
-Pale Green/Gray Top
AED149.00
-Black Pants
AED69.00

Extyn
-Purple Minicoat
AED70.00
-Gray Suit
AED149.00 + 120.00

Promod
-Short Pants + belt
AED99.00
-Dress 1
AED79.00
-Dress 2
AED89.00
-Pants Gray
AED39.00

ShoeMart
-Silver Sandals
AED149.00

Lifestyle
-Palladio Lipstick
AED32.00
-Burjouies Silver Eyeshadow
AED49.00

Next
-House Sandals
AED55.00
-Chocolate House Sandals
AED65.00
-Red Bag
AED100.00
-Lingerie
AED15.00
AED25.00
AED30.00
AED20.00
AED15.00

La Reine
-New Hairstyle
AED150.00

A Night with the International Relations Students

2007-06-20T19:14:00.000+08:00

This took place on the 9th of June 2007

I should have written about this a long time ago but I ran out of time. Too much pressure at work, in the flat, even out of the flat. Just too much pressure..

I was out with International Relations students at Havana Cafe near the breakwater, near the Marina Mall. These IR students come from various parts of the world and if not for the Swedish bloke Jonas, I would never meet one or know of them. They hail from different universities and they come to the different embassies of their countries in different parts of the world. This night, these students chose the UAE culture to be the focal point of their studies. They are taking masters already.

Okay, let me tell you a brief history, back in my college days, an IR student cannot collect his or her diploma if he/she does not serve like a whole lot of hours duty in the DFA(Department of Foreign Affairs) in Manila. Thus, all the graduating IR students had to shell out money, sell their cows or mortgage their houses in order to afford the cost of the so-called-practicum.

The practicum is where we, the IR students get to become slaves of the DFA staff in Roxas Boulevard, Manila. The students from Mindanao SU-Marawi, has to stay in some chosen quarters or hostel or apartments in Manila in order to serve this duty.

I was lucky enough during our practicum, my teachers actually have this love-hate relationship toward me that they decided to put me away from the rest of the batch because they always think I was up to mischief and that the students would normally just follow my lead whether it is for their own good or not. So, I was indeed separated. Their misjudgment towards me was actually a blessing in disguise, or so it seems to me. I was assigned in the Honorary Consuls and Service Attaches Department. There were only four of us in that department, one was the Head, who was a former ambassador, one was an aspiring attache and another one was a veteran in the DFA who has travelled all over the world in various embassies of the Phils for different assistant and secretarial positions. And I was the trainee.

The thing I learned there were plenty. There were things I was glad to know and there were some that I would rather forget. I remember one time I was in the lift, I was holding a document that says "TOP SECRET" on top of it. There were students from De Lasalle, Ateneo and other richyrich universities in Manila. I heard one complain, 'what kind of practicum is this, we are just asked to recopy documents and bring reams of papers from the stockroom. This was not what I imagined!' I felt lucky holding that top secret document, I saw some of them peering at what I was holding.

So, back to the present times, these IR students are by far more privileged in their chosen courses. Well, also because they came from far richer countries. One was from Sweden, two were from Italy.

They were all trying to learn Arabic and taking in the Arabic culture although, they pretty learn little considering they mostly hang out together so they just end up speaking either Italian or English. But, all of them speak at least three different languages including English, excluding their native language. Isn't that amazing? It makes me just want to smack myself for being too lazy in not trying to learn more languages. Yo hablo espanol on poco. Yeah yeah, I am just a loca nina. Who doesn't know how to speak Spanish in the Philippines? I then get so excited in thinking I will learn to speak Arabic tonight, after all, I have four tapes....

So, the night was filled with different stories of their escapades in various places of the world where they have been trying to immerse different culture and learning languages.

Isabella (name changed to protect identity) :-), the pretty Italian, she has been in France and stayed there for three months. She could not afford rent, (brace yourself, I have never heard of this before too) so she advertised that she was renting out half of her bed, so she could afford to stay in it. Luckily, or unluckily, there was someone who responded. That someone turned out to be a French guy. And since there was no one else who responded to the ad, she took him in. She said for three months that guy was trying so hard to get into her pants. That was of course not an unforeseen event right? We were all laughing at her story.

Maura (name also changed), has been in the UAE for quite sometime and she said she is studying German, so she was seeing a German dude who was trying to learn Italian. However, the German dude has not enriched her German knowledge, other than those in bed (I must have confused it, so what!) but he has in turn made his Italian better.

Isabella is currently learning Arabic, thus she is seeing an Arab guy. She is a perfectionist who would not speak Arabic unless she was fluent in it. Oh, I heard the guy she was seeing was good in bed. Is there anything better than this?

Anyways, Jonas is in Syria right now. He is trying to learn Arabic. He will be there for two months. He left three days ago. We miss him already.

Busy Bee

2007-05-28T18:14:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since I got some new projects to work on and recently I have been flooded. I had to make do with my time squeezing in relentless and persistent lonely peopleinto my schedule. Some hassle junkie I have been involved with, I had to cheer him/her up because it seems the whole world is collapsing on him/her. I know, I do not have to be responsible for anybody. It is not my job to save the world or save the people from their own depression. But, yeah, I am probably just a pushover. So, I am reading the book again "I feel guilty when I say NO." A gift from an old friend a long time ago. I should just not care about anybody, this way I would finish all my tasks and not have to be pissed at all with myself.

I have finished three projects so far and there still are two with looming deadlines in a few weeks or days I think. I wish I have enough time.

I have been trying to lose weight and cutting out some food but I always, always end up eating too much at night. Although my weight stayed the same for like 6 months now, I really need to lose 10 kilos to fit in my old clothes because I have no plans on buying new clothes. I want to live with what I have till the next four years so I save enough money to make myself feel like I am worth something and not just some nut case who sqaunders what she earns and grows into a forty year old who has nothing to her name but her shoes. Oh, lamentation of a woman whose has gone past the calendar days.

I had to see my dermatologist for some skin infection and I have been scheduled to do some surgery and facial cleaning this week. He is a good doctor. I asked him if he knows any good dentist and he told me his wife is a dentist and that she is a better doctor than her. So I went to her, whose office was just next building. I waited and waited and fidgeted and read a few pages off the book I just mentioned above. When it was my time to see her, she told me, "oh Dr. Derma takes care of you too much. He has called twice to check if you came to see me," I just smiled. I always feel like maybe wives would think there is something fishy going on. And so, I sat on that dentist-patient chair and she asked me a few stuff. Then she told me she will put injection. Now, I was scared. I was like, shit, she must have thought that there is something going on with her husband and me. Is that why she is giving me that injection??? OMG!! well, she was just actually doing her job. She did an x-ray on my forsaken tooth that I really wanted to be extracted since years ago which most dentists refused to do so. Why do they have to save a tooth that has been refilled several times and the patient has been complaining about again and again? I always ge tthe same response everytime I go to a different dentist.

So, I have my appointment tomorrow with the dermatologist for some surgery and my dentist appointment on Wednesday, hopefully she will agree to remove my tooth.

I miss that look from someone that tells you you are so special. I wonder when I will get that look again?

Huh?? Where did that come from?

So, I was still on that dentist-patient's chair (there has to be a name for this?) when she told me to open my mouth. She looked at my upper palate and poked into it and then she told me "You have a unique palate, it is beautiful. Just beautiful." I was like, 'thank you' ? huh? What do you reply to that exactly??

So, I got a bag for my birthday. It was a gift from Sarah. I also got a pair of earrings with something orange hanging on it.

I miss going out for shisha. I miss swimming. I miss snorkeling. I miss shopping. Yeah, I miss a lot of things.

Just a Thought

2007-05-21T20:36:00.001+08:00

I might go to Europe next year. Fall in love with a stranger. Go to bed crying in my sleep. And remember it for the rest of my life....

Questions Again...

2007-05-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

You look at me like you look down on me
Like you question my existence in your life
Like I question your existence in my life

I live in fear
And try to run
But the distance is too near

How do I justify how I feel
Or understand what you feel?
There never seems to be time
For you and me

It has to be in a crowd because
The crowd keeps us safe
Like a reflection of your existence
And my existence

I wander
And wonder
And try to forget
But for how long?

Manners, Mister! Manners!

2007-05-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

One guy who works at the bank came to the office today and said hello, hi, blah. I was just being polite in replying. He didn't know who he was supposed to see. He was using one syllable from another lady's name and another from another lady who both work in the office.

Probably he was trying to be polite with me. But I really don't have to be nice to him so I just waited till he realize who he was supposed to call in to see. In between, he was asking me stuff.

Man who needs manners: How are you?
Me: I'm Okay. (little smile)
Man who needs manners: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah I'm okay. (forcing myself to smile)
Man who needs manners: You don't look okay. You look sick.
Me: I'm fine really thank you.
Man who needs manners: Really, you look not okay. Not looking fresh.
Me: Yeah, like you look uglier than before too.

Hahaha. No, I didn't say that. I am not that rude really. But I wanted to.

There are so many things that are not good in my everyday life. Like if I had the choice, I would totally eliminate them to make the world a better place. Here are a few things:

Guys who stand around the parking area near my office. They take their smoke breaks and when I get off the car they just rudely stare like hungry coyotes. They are really rude.

Office girls who huddle and chitchat at the reception talking crap. They are so embarassing.

People who think they are the prettiest thing on earth. They keep talking about all the men who want to sleep with them but they end up drunk and not going out with anybody at all, or they end up with one night stands and being left stranded on the street because they guys don't even have the guts to be seen with them, lest take them home.

People who have nothing to do in the office but sit, walk around, smoke. They are waste of space, time, money and sore to the eyes.

People who lie and lie and lie and lie..

And people who ask you questions that you are forced to lie and lie and lie just so you won't hurt their feelings.

Carrefour Lunch and Fake LV, and oh, my birthday

2007-05-19T18:37:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I admit. I just recently purchased a fake LV. It doesn't have many logos of LV (like those tacky ones) on it but its fake LV otherwise. It looked like burberry design though.

I just turned 28 (wink wink) again yesterday and the night before, I was invited for dinner by a very close friend of mine. I had margarita and some salad. I am on a diet. And it was like late in the evening. I had brief moments of melancholy, not because I turned older but because there were several things in my life that I wish to achieve and still they are nowhere in sight. And there are so many books that were not closed in my life, so maybe that's why I was back in memory lane. Pathetic, sad, something like that. I guess its part of growing up.

What with my exes suddenly calling out of nowhere.? Weird people.

I got my Angel Perfume, and some nice looking bottle as well. Its called Live Intense or something. I actually have a mission now to buy perfumes only if they come in nice, unique bottles. It really feels good to have different shapes in my perfume area.

I was invited/treated to a yacht trip on my birthday, but the monthly cycle got me down so I was sleeping the whole time at the boat. After 3 savannahs. It was a party full of young kids from who know's where. There was one girl who was wearing her two piece and she was dancing for everyone to see. I don't know if she was drunk or not, would she be remorseful the day after the party? Who knows. Some of my companions were mocking her, but she has friends sitting next to us who were giving us the dagger-looks. Like we were some kind of freaks in the boat. Yeah, I bet we were. We were the only ones there not dancing, just sitting and almost moping. But it was a good experience nevertheless.

I had a recent project as well I did for some student. She returned it to me and told me that I have to edit it. I asked her why, she said, my English was too difficult. She said her English is good, but not that good... So she thinks or she said, her teacher will flunk her because she would know that its not she who did the assignment. Well, at least they just marked the English words that I needed to change, which made it easier for me. I am looking forward to getting clients on teaching English conversationally as well. I have two prospective clients. I wish I will have the time though.

Oh I am also venturing on new areas. One is a can-do-all business (anything you need, or looking for, I will help you) and I went back into using my hands for arts and crafts. Its a bit difficult to find the materials I need here though but at least I got some few items to start with.

My friends greeted me on my birthday and I didn't really plan on having a party, so I didnt. Others were wondering why. I just didnt have the time and besides, I have a flatmate now so I cannot really invite people in.

Oh, and I have been keen on maximizing my Pax Hakadal closet from www.ikea.com, I have purchased the touser hanger, the rack with 10 hooks. And they were both soo cool in my drawer. I can hang all my shawls and scarves now. But I still needed to buy one more of those rack with ten hooks and another thing or things. But today, at lunch, I thought I could take the time to go to Carrefour/Ikea in Marina Mall but heck, I was wrong. Everybody was going there too. Its really difficult. I was turning around looking for parking, then got stuck in so much traffic, then my gas monitor went yellow. So I decided to skip Ikea and just go back to office. I went to ADNOC to get Silvering AED20.00 worth of gas. Time seems to be really speeding up.

Do you remember those times when we used to just lie on hammocks and let the day go by? Wow. We had plenty of time then. Now, everything is just a blur, time is always short, there are always things that we have to forego because we couldnt just make it in this day or in this lifetime even. Do you think that time is really speeding up? I was doing research on the net but I wasnt able to internalize what I have read because I was just skimming through the net and now, I can't seem to remember any of those I have read. Time must really be speeding up, or my memory is failing me. Talk about old age... :)

I think I am still sick because my sense of smell has gone, my ears are blocked and I feel this itchy tingling feeling in my throat. Ah, bad weather is coming. Its becoming too hot, too humid in Abu Dhabi, or in the Gulf for that matter.

I wish you all good times.

2 Pinay mountaineers reach Everest summit

2007-05-16T12:36:00.000+08:00

05/16/2007 10:45 AM
(Updated 11:33 a.m.) The Philippine Coast Guard (PCG) said two of the three Filipino women making a historic attempt to scale Mt. Everest reached Wednesday morning (RP time) the summit of the world's highest mountain.
Television reports said mountaineer Noelle Wenceslao was first to reach the top of the 29,035-foot Mt. Everest at 6:10 a.m. Nepal time, or 8:10 a.m. Philippine time. She was followed by Carina Dayondon, who summited the mountain 10 minutes later.
"Ang mensahe namin sa Sambayanang Pilipino, naabot na ng Pinay ang tuktok ng mundo (Our message to the Nation is that the Filipino woman has reached the top of the world)," Wenceslao was quoted by television reports as saying.
With the feat, the two have successfully duplicated the achievement of three male climbers Heracleo Oracion, Erwin Pastor Emata and Romi Garduce in May last year.
Radio station dzBB said PCG spokesman Lieutenant Armand Balilo also confirmed that Wenceslao and Dayondon have reached the top of Mt. Everest.
The last member of the three-woman Kaya ng Pinay team, Janet Belarmino, was reportedly 20 to 30 minutes behind her colleagues, television reports added.
Wenceslao, Dayondon and Belarmino have the rank of seawoman first class in the Coast Guard.
They left Manila for Bangkok on March 18 en route to the Nepalese capital of Katmandu.
Oracion became the first Filipino climber to scale Mt. Everest on May 17, followed by Emata on the 18th and Garduce on the 19th. Incidentally, Oracion and Emata are both also from the Philippine Coast Guard. - GMANews.TV

Good Months

2007-05-15T18:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, I will mention the stuff I have done because I want to relish and reminisce the memory of the goodness of the previous weeks that passed by..

April

I might have gone to Umm Al Qwain for like 3 times...

I went to Fujairah to see Tetet

I have gone to Al Ain

April 20, I had brunch with a very important person at Sheraton Khalidia, soon to be friend.

April 27, I went on a Desert Safari

April 29, UAE - Japan Business Forum, Emirates Hotel

April 30, African Rainbow Party, Crowne Plaza

May

May 4, We went to Ajman, then Umm Al Qwain

May 10-11, Houseboat Party at Umm Al Qwain (Pre-Birthday party)

May 14, Sarah's Birthday bash at Pregos, Beach Rotana Hotel

Yeah, we are broke, but we are happy!! I hope it becomes better and better...

UAE Manners, Ethics, Etiquette and Customer Service

2007-05-14T21:14:00.001+08:00

Yes, they all suck. Most of the time.

When I was new here, I actually think that it was polite when people say "Sorry?" when they want you to repeat what you are saying because either
a.) they didn't hear it
b.) they didn't understand it
c.) they are dumb enough not to know what you are talking about and they want to pretend they are actually smarter than you.

But the longer you stay here, people do not actually say "sorry?" when they want you to repeat what you just said, it is just a colloquial term that people have gotten used to. It is still best to hear "I am sorry" or "I beg your pardon" or "Please say that again". And it really sucks when people do not say "sorry" but they say "suri??" instead. Who??? The daughter of Tom Cruise???

Customer service. What customer service?? It doesn't exist in the UAE. With a bunch of insipids and clueless people being put in major establishments as front row service staff, the UAE probably ranks probably as the topnotcher for worst customer service in the world. Most of the staff, when you walk in the shop looks at you as if you cannot afford anything and they are better than you. Yet, here they are "supposedly" serving you. If you eat at a restaurant and you don't like your food, they will just nonchalantly tell you that it is the only one they have in stock or that they werent the one who made the food.

Yes, we are often lucky as ladies, there are always special queues for us but come to think of it, does anyone ever open the door for you? Or would men even let you in first? No, they will probably fight with you to go in first or get the cab first or get out of the lift first. And eeh that stench! They stink most of the time. You have got to stop breathing or else you will die anyhow.

And the worse is not yet said. You know, it is so common greeting.. Hello, How are you? But no one really listens how you are. Why bother asking in the first place?

Yeah its that time of the month. Happy birthday to Sarah, to me, to my Dad and to all those celebrating their birthday this month!!

A Tribute to Carina

2007-05-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

She is climbing Mt. Everest now with two other Filipinas.... Hope they reach the summit safely.

Mabuhay ang Pinay!!

LB or LV??

2007-05-13T19:14:00.000+08:00

I have just established a new brand for your bags... If you are interested, just bring your old bags to me and you will see the results, in an hour your bag will look totally different...

I will post pictures soon....

Houseboat Boathouse Party

2007-05-12T19:04:00.000+08:00

We went on a houseboat party as a pre-birthday party because Thea is leaving for vacation on the 14th of May. Yes she was forced to take a leave by her boss. We rented a 2 bedroom houseboat/boathouse which is actually good for around 20 people. Okay, to sleep in, there were 2 bedrooms, the bed good for 2 - 3 people, the lounge was big with huge TV complete with sound system, 2 big couches which can sleep 2 persons, the kitchen was a mini-bar good for storage and a mini-bar, then we had the upperdeck which was really a huge open space, we coult put three tents on. We did barbecue there, drank, had fun, watched sunrise (they did, I was asleep coz I was sick a few days back remember?? And they were pissed at me for sleeping half the time (you call 3AM-8AM half the time??)

We played the Swedish card game which plot was to get everyone drunk but we were already half drunk when it was introduced by the Swedish guy so by the middle of the instruction, everyone has forgotten what each one was about and so we just gobbled up bottles of the stock we've got. We sang all kinds of crappy songs, mostly the Original Sigbin by Jr. Kilat because the swedish guy was really fascinated by it and he even plans to memorize it and almost got two Filipina girls convinced that he has seen a sigbin. In truth, he is the sigbin. King Jonas, skoal to you!

We could have brought karaoke (we will bring that next time!), we will bring more booze, organize it meticulously with proper delegation of assignments to responsible people, bring more people to ease the cost, block unwanted guests, go there early to catch the sunset (we got there like 6 0r 7pm because we had to work till 2:30pm and some other stuff... TRAFFIC.. damn....)

There were a few things that we forgot:
tongs for barbecue
charcoal
salt
someone left the red wine and the whiskey somewhere
there were few uninvited bad guests who came to the boat and did an embarassing proposition/s to one of the guys I was with
somebody puked in the toilet (yuck! and we were at sea remember?)
we ended up paying more for booze
we almost paid for extra blankets because the reception said we ordered (we didn't even use most of those given because we were mostly awake half the time and we brought extra blanket and pillows!)
we almost paid for stuff which the previous tenants took from the minimarket
I think my blue stradivarius jacket is there
I also forgot my Pantene conditioner
and
I was just asleep a lot I missed lots of fun (wink ;) :) ;) wink)

But, all in all, it was a lovely time. We are definitely going to do it again.... Now the crux is.. who are we taking???

Exam....

2007-05-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

I took an online fun exam a few weeks ago... and here is the result....

Recap..

2007-05-07T18:30:00.000+08:00

I am actually sick today, for two days now. But I refuse to stay in bed because I don't want to feel sorry for myself. So I would have to resolve to going to work each day till I get well. Its good to be in the office even if I am mostly disoriented due to light-headedness, slight deafness, sore bodyparts, cramps.. name it.. I have it.

It's been ages since I wrote here and I actually have randlomly listed the things I needed to write about so I wont lose track of them or would vaguely remember at least if I see one word related to what I was up to in the last few weeks... So here is the list anyhow.. and some captions... Its just for me...

So many things have happened, so many things I have done.

Remember my exhilarating dream? I had an exhilarating experience just recently. I went on a Desert Safari courtesy of Starchoice. I was with two friends, one old friend and one new-found friend.

Parking wait

Bus ride – I fell asleep

My contacts stayed in place

Bumpy ride

Arrival at the camp

Low tables and cushions on carpeted sand floor

Stage in the middle

Camel ride – brought tears in my eyes

Tug of war

Shisha

The 4X4 ride

The walk to the top of the sand dune

The coke

The sunset

The walk down

The food

The shisha

The evening breeze

The food

The stranger (or foe)

The belly dancer

The bus ride

Rock Bottom - yep, after the Safari Desert adventure we went to Rock Bottom on the same night, to sit, drink beer and watch Alien (Returns, or something) while the music was blasting on the background.
---

Night swimming

----

Lost wallet - my flatmate

---

Laundry - dry clean or iron only?

Lewis

JC Lareoux

Sex and the City

Giggles till 2AM. Related to the laundry

---

Crowne Plaza

Cheryl and Djahanne

Cheryl: (to a bisaya looking girl, on the buffet queue) Unsa ni?
Bisaya-Looking Girl: Ambot, ayaw ko pangutan.a, Tagalog manko

Tagalog Girl to Cheryl: Hello. Anong pangalan mo? Ang ganda mo.
Cheryl: Cheryl. (acting cutey cutey, after three glasses of white wine, one glass of red wine and 1 double shot of Amarula)
Tagalog Girl: Taga asa manka day( in a Tagalog tone). Di ba Bisaya ka?
Cheryl: Huh? Dili oy. Tagalog man ako.

Hehehehehe. Mga Bisaya lagi kay maulaw moangkon na Bisaya sila. Maypa ko muingon pako silingan namo ang Abu Sayaf.

Drunk.... 4AM

----

A kin passed away in Ajman....

----

Drive from Abu Dhabi to Ajman to Umm Al Qwain..

5 or 6am?? Return to Abu Dhabi

----

Special off on Saturday....

Pondering on Ponderosa or Caravan?

Caravan....

Swimming in the Corniche.. Kittykat was lost at sea, the guys were furious, she came delirious.

RV --

So this leads me to today being sick...

I still think my officemate was born infested with cockroaches... She came to our office and she looked at me so I told her "yes I am sick today". Her scantily bitter reply was "mabuti nga sa iyo" or in English "good for you." What a bitch.

An Exhilirating Dream

2007-04-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

I had the most exhilirating dream in a long time....It was something like me and my high school classmates were participating in an audition for an action movie and one of the things we need to do was jump from a highly elevated wooden structure into the sea... When we were brought there my classmates were all scared and I was like wow! And I told them I will go and do it. And I just jumped and felt such great exhiliration from the jump. It was almost the same feeling as that 'graduation rock' we used to jump off after a long rafting trip. But this one has got the cleanest water, clear bluegreen, deep, fresh and cold. It was a wonderful feeling.

When I got down, to where the people were waiting, they looked at me like they still think it was just a fluke I jumped and they asked me if I could swim, and I swam. Then I went back to where they are, and they asked me if I could float, I floated and proceeded to swim and hit my knee on a wooden barrier. Sounds like dead wood on the block.I woke up 5am. I should have ran to the Corniche. But I proceeded to sleep. Then woke up sneezing at 6am then slept again and woke up at 7:30.

It was a good dream but it seemed to have hidden meanings in it. Its like what I am going through right now at work. No need to elaborate but some things are just difficult. Still it was a good dream.

Wish things will be better. Wish I will surround myself with people who are intelligent, resourceful, active, proactive, energetic, kind and yes, pleasant.

Office Bullies

2007-04-21T14:54:00.000+08:00

On what I wear and the noise of my shoes in the office

She told me, pointing to my shoes ‘You should lift up your feet at least so you wont make that much of noise!” Oh rude.

I just gave her a smile. One girl commented, “You know her, she’s conservative.” Huh??

She is not conservative, she pretends to be. But the truth is nobody wants to go out with her. With her mouth infested with cockroaches and frogs, who would go out with her? She has to pretend she is conservative, I would probably too. I bet, she is the NBSB walking. Or probably, NBSB till death.

*no boyfriend since birth

Dig Gold

2007-04-09T19:09:00.000+08:00

I always had the habit of telling people about my plans but after I have blurted them out, I go home, toss and turn and berate myself for doing what I had just done. Its not because of the people I told it to, but its just the innate thought that something is out there from me for people to discuss about. So many times, I have discussed my plans and they never seem to take place. Some think I am too superstitious but I just feel like when you are keeping something for yourself that involves only or mostly yourself, it is a sacred thing. You treasure it, you pray for it, you yearn for it. It is a pure wish. But once it goes out of your thoughts, out of your prayers into other people's minds, there just seem to be some negative vibes that would affect it because generally, people are always jealous of yout to achieve something better for yourself or that you become better than them as a result. I know it seems sad that I have no trust in the inherent goodness of people but come to think of it, was there every really anyone who was never jealous of you, what you do or what you try to achieve? I have seen all sorts of people and most of them just want to use you for what you can give or what they can take out of you.

I remember my Dad's story about a guy (we'll name him Pete) who was so poor and God wanted to help him. Pete was being put to a test on how determined he is to do something or achieve something with God. God told him to go this certain place by himself. "Do not tell anybody where you are going or what you will be doing. This is between me and yourself." He arrived at the place and God told him, underneath this plot after two digs with your bare hands is a huge sum of money and gold. You will dig it until you will find something that will tell you it is time to stop digging because you have all what you needed for yourself and your family. I forgot what the thing was. God said, no one knows you are here except for Me. I know you did not tell anybody. God said, the Devil will tempt you. I only have one request for you. When you start digging do not look back, voices will be there to call you but they are not real. They are just distractions. If you look back, all the money and gold you will dig will turn into salt.

So Pete swore to God and started digging. True, after just two digs using his bare hands, he found gold. He kept digging, he was thinking of how he can now send his children to school. How he can buy beautiful dresses for his two daughters who have been wearing shabby clothes for several years now. He was imagining how he can buy shoes for his little boys. He was thinking now he can buy a stove for his wife so that he did not need gather woods to start the fire to cook their food. He was happy. He has had a pile of gold and money when suddenly, he heard someone call his name. "Pete, what are you doing there?" It was his friend Josh. He stopped digging and listened. Then he remembered what God said. So he continued digging. By now he had like a small pile of money and gold. He kept digging. Then he heard his wife call him "Pete, what are you doing there? Are you crazy?" But, then he thought, no my wife doesn't know I'm here and this place is so far away. She could not be calling to me. So he continued digging. By now it looks like he's got a sack of gold and money already. He was sweating. He was thirsty. But he continued digging. It was only fifteen minutes after all. So he dug some more. He didn't know it would only be a few more digs till he had to stop and go home with all the money and gold. But then, another voice called onto him. "Daddy, what are you doing?" He did not reply. He continued digging. Then he heard laughter, somebody was laughing at him "Look at Pete, he is crazy, he is digging a pool of mud." He looked at what he was digging, it was money and gold. But he was confused why people behind him see it as mud. Then he heard more laughter. He was getting mad. He thought everything was a joke. He stopped digging and he looked back behind him. He could not see anybody. It was just grass and the dimness of the night. When he looked back at what he had dug, everything was salt. Just this huge mound of white crystals salt.

So, what is the moral of the story?

Easter in the UAE

2007-04-08T16:46:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am spending my fifth Easter Sunday in Abu Dhabi. I still recall those days when I was in the Philippines and we have that compulsory, obligatory, no-excuses Church ceremony that we have to participate. We wait for the angels to descend from the ceiling or rise from the balcony with ropes supporting them from behind. The church was very good in making us experience those. I miss those times. It really makes us feel like its a renewed sense of hope and new beginnings. I will be working so I would just have to be content in hoping I would take half-day off. I should actually not go to work.

But anyhow, I have sent e-cards, read some hymns, and read more on Easter. I am posting this one....

Easter at the Vatican
Easter at the Vatican is said to be one of the most incredible spiritual journeys a Catholic can take, and it seems that every year, the Vatican receives a little more world wide attention from the nations which make it into the Pope’s address.
For Catholics, Easter at the Vatican represents the epitome of Catholic leadership and millions of Catholics worldwide strain to hear every word that drips from the mouth of the Pope. As Pope John Paul II waned in health, his addresses were considerably shortened until in his final year, he mustered a hand waved blessing to his flock only days before passing away.
A great number of Catholics and Christians hold fast that Easter is in fact the holiest day of the year, commemorating the day the Jesus rose to the right hand of God. Despite its dwindling momentousness in less religious circles, the devout still hold it higher than Christmas or any other day of the year. There was massive grief when Pope John Paul II died so close to the holiest day of the year that some people even reported feeling a sense of abandonment.
Regardless, tradition continued with a new Pope and once again the state of the world was addressed in massive prayer at the Vatican, after a long Saturday night vigil that the Pope had led well past midnight, his voice once again united a faith as he addressed the political issues of the nation and vehemently argued for peace among men. The mass that held a live audience of over 100,000 faithfuls packed into St. Peter’s square denounced violence, prayed for peace and resolution, and of course, offered the archdiocese’s condolences for the victims of senseless violence.
Naturally a religious event such as this is bound to draw critics and some people focused on the Mass as the Catholic Church’s podium speech on social politics. Some believe that the Catholic Mass should focus on Catholic issues rather than address the nation as a political power. The feeling is not only held in nations where Catholicism is a large minority, but reaches into the United Sates and into the minds of “Progressive Catholics” who condone the separation of church and state. Some people do not feel it is appropriate for any religious figure to spend their holy address commenting on the political state of the world.
Regardless of public opinion in favor of or against the Pope’s Easter address, it is a long held tradition that will not die in the near future, and in fact is beginning to once again increase its popularity with the Catholics of today. With the naming of a new Pope after Pope John Paul II’s passing, many have returned to the Easter service to hear the thoughts of the new Pope and herald him just as they did Pope John Paul II. Some people feel that Pope Benedict XVI has some very large shoes to fill and concern has been expressed about his more controversial statements. The traditional papal address, which is known as the message “to the city and to the world,” is a tradition that has offered people hope, celebration, honor, and grounding since the very first papal address and will continue to do so most likely for centuries to come.
Religious tradition, regardless of denomination, is bound in strong values and ritualized custom. For thousands of years religious tradition can carry a people to new heights of honor or new heights of destruction depending on how the leadership chooses to use that power entrusted to them. Easter at the Vatican is a tradition that creates for the devout a miraculous day of celebration, and a sense of community under strong leadership.
Throughout some of the most deeply devout traditions held throughout the world, Catholics look to the Vatican to honor their holy work and to validate their holy mission. Papal influence can be felt from the largest and most delicate churches to the smallest most humble churches. There is no denying the Pope’s rightful place among the hearts of the Catholic people, and their honor in being just one of one hundred thousand to hear his yearly address. Year after year, Easter at the Vatican represents tradition that the people would truly suffer without.

Writing Skills or Gibberish?

2007-04-04T19:57:00.000+08:00

People always tend to think that just because a paragraph is long it has a distinticve content or meaningful message in it. But the truth is, the shorter the sentences or the most brief of all discussions are those that are well chosen therefore, has more impact, has a direct and lateral point in it. See... You suck! :)

Most sentences with plenty of words are just gibberish and are actually just a waste of time and words even. Like for example...

"Prejudices do not tend to correct themselves but rather go over into other prejudices or swing to the opposite side. People would rather change the world but not their prejudices. Why is it so difficult to dismantle prejudices? Often people do not notice at all that they have a prejudice. In order not to subject the prejudice to a test and not let it be questioned, one tries instinctively to avoid discussions that can shake it.

But how can a person even know whether he/she is making a mistake (in the form of a prejudice) if he/she never exposes himself/herself to an experience that could bring it to light? How can we be aware of prejudices if we are not ready to meet others, who have completely different views and characteristics from us?"

This is an excerpt of a rather very long and tedious paragraph that discusses something which I am still trying to rationalize. It was prejudice was it? It clearly lacks a definitive subject. It blabbers on about other people but not prejudice. It probably is an expression of someone who had an impression of someone. It keeps repeating the word prejudice but does not define it. It also uses jargon or colloquial words which actually have no impact towards the subject it wants to discuss. Also, it keeps shifting status from the first person to third person? Why? Is it difficult to focus on other people than yourself or vice versa? Why not stick with the theme of discussing them? :)

Moreover, the words, swing, shake and dismantle seem so out of place.

Just a note on someone's writing skills.

I like this though...

People would rather be more willing to change the world than change themselves. But, is that even possible? Both-- changing the world and yourself?

My Dad and I

2007-04-03T12:20:00.000+08:00

I remember when I was young and my Mom was in Manila working in a recruitment agency. My dad and I used to go to Matelco or PT&T so we could call her and we always schedule it late in the evenings because the calls were much cheaper although it takes us a while to line with the queue. My dad was the sweetest guy I have first learned to know. Yes, maybe this is how I get to be so picky with men. He sends my mother telegrams when he can afford it. We have the scheduled phone calls on Sunday nights, he sends her flower-grams and yes he sends her loveletters as often as he can. I can vividly recall the nights when he was bent down on his head writing pages of letters from the yellow pad, flipping from each pages, carefully putting down in manuscript how he feels about my Mom being away, how we-the kids are, how he felt about her being away. He would write ten pages or so and mostly back to back to save on cost based on weight for every mail. My Mom was the luckiest woman in the world.

They say that every woman’s relationship with a man always relates back to her relationship with her father, whether the father was good or bad towards the child. Every woman would compare or associate her boyfriend with her dad, that is if she grew up with a dad.

I would consider myself lucky because I have had the most special times with my dad. We were in high school and my two sisters and I could not go out on parties unless the three of us are together plus one chaperone. So we were so annoyed with each other but we cannot go anywhere else thus, we have to put up with being together all the time. I had not experienced boyfriends in high school which was probably the best thing because I learned to choose well and have not regretted turning down dates to go with even the most eligible men.

My dad was a strict disciplinarian. If we so much as mention any crush, he will reprimand us for wasting time on people. One time my sisters and I were talking about some crush, I blurted out "I have a crush..." at the same time my Dad walked in on us three. He told me "Crush, crush, the best person to have a crush on is the son of US President George Bush." I replied to my Dad helplessly "How can I have a crush on that guy? He doesn't even know I exist??" Well now, the then recommended crush for me by my Dad is the President of US. And yet, Geroge Bush Jr. still doesn't know me.

We were to read newspaper from front to back and back to back. TV was almost unheard of, we have a brown, grey and white TV. You know those old TVs that have sliding accordion doors on them? They must as well have curtains by the way. :) We had a turntable and plenty of vinyl LPs ranging from Matt Munro to Timi Yuro and so many Latino music that we used to play although we never understood what they were singing about. The tunes were great though. I recall that song by one woman that was saying “I’m walking six feet tall..” or the Latino song that keeps on singing “Torototontotong, ping, ping ping” Some weird funny noises. O La Paloma Blanca... I'm just a bird in the sky... or Cuando caliente el sol, en el la playa? Or Babushka? Or Don gato... Yes there were other beautiful songs that I would still love to listen to even now.. The old classics like Moon River... or Don't Sleep in the Subway.. or Mona Lisa..... or She.. But I always tend to weep when I hear Oh my Papa.. My Dad told me when his Dad passed away, his greatest wish was to see him again even for the last time. I was a child then and I could not understand. Now I clearly understood. I feel the same way.

I also vividly remember when we have blackouts or brownouts and we could not do anything but sit together on our bamboo sofa without cushions and listen to my sisters take turns in playing the piano with one candle atop the cover/lid of the upright piano, you know that wooden thing that covers the skeleton of the piano with all its hummers and keys and strings?? I could barely finish my pieces so I was exempted to play. Instead, I would be singing rapidly to the melodies. Yep. I was the singer. To my horror, I only recently found out now that I am older that my voice is like a squeal of a frog on a night when it is cold and it just stopped raining. My Dad was my greatest fan.

Recent Craze

2007-04-02T18:21:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have been experiencing major recurrence and intermittent case of hypeventilation. I would proabbaly be buying paper bags soon.

I have recently beend engrossed with the art of candle making, beads artwork and glass jewelry. I was hoping I could actually do some of these stuff because they are really easy to make, if you have the time. Except of course for the glass jewelry. I have plenty of Swarovski crystals and I want them to be in a glass capsule which I can wear as a necklace.

I desire to make pillar candles or even much much bigger and taller ones. Well, it is such a problem looking for candle making suppliers here though.

I have missed the Palm Sunday. I was in the office and a friend texted me she was just at the church because of the Palm Sunday ocassion.

Please let me have the candle making kit... And please let me have the time to finish my bead works...

I have a new flatmate now and I have disposed of my sofabed, temporarily. I have moved most of my stuff in the bedroom and have set my bookshelves on the walls. The flat looks almost the same though except for the closet in the lounge.

I am sooo eager to get the beads done and to make candles and to have my crystals in a tube..... help..... I am hyperventilating...

An Aquaintance

2007-04-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

She is a piece of art. Her hair cut in short, shaggy style dyed brown with tinge of dark blonde on the edges but they look so dry they seem brittle and ready to burn. Her arms are tiny but well sculpted that shows she does workout. I asked her if she was married, she said no. I told her she looks so fit. I asked her if she works out she said she runs in the morning for 45minutes and swims at night. She has small arms and she is almost petite. But I often wonder how these girls get to have those breasts. Oh those breasts. They just seem so blessed despite their small frames. She probably loves green because she was wearing a green tank top, yes to and in the office, green shell necklace and green bracelet. Okay, I know most women match their clothes with their accessories but she was also wearing green trimmed eyeglasses. Her eyebrows were perfectly shaped and plucked and she was wearing little make-up. Her skin was a bit taut but they seem dry, although, most people her age and a Middle Eastern girl who is more liberal, she is not the first one to have that tanned skin which looks like its been out in the sun too much, too long.

Filipinos in Mt. Everest

2007-03-26T15:46:00.000+08:00

3 Filipino women off to Everest

By Tarra QuismundoInquirer

Last updated 03:43am (Mla time)

03/19/2007

MANILA, Philippines -- In their backpacks are mountain gear, winterclothes and prayers.Out to prove that the Filipino woman can do it, the trio of CarinaDayondon, Janet Belarmino and Noelle Wenceslao flew to Thailand onSunday en route to Nepal for the most challenging expedition of theirlives -- to climb the 29,035-foot Mount Everest, the world's tallest peak."Kaya ng Pinay. Hindi tayo pahuhuli. Pwede tayo makasabay (TheFilipina can do it. We won't be left behind. We will be with the restof them)," the 28-year-old Belarmino said."We may be different from men, but we are equal."Wenceslao, 27, sounded equally confident in a talk with the PhilippineDaily Inquirer minutes before boarding the team's Bangkok-bound flight."We are not different from other Filipinas. We are normal Filipinas.We don't have special skills, special talents, or special anything. Wejust want to show that we are normal people who [like others] ride thejeep, but we can dare to do something that seems impossible and wewill make it possible," said Wenceslao.

The team plans to train for a month and a half in high-altitudeconditions before making the assault on Everest's snow-shroudedsummit, sometime in May.It was also in May last year that three other Filipino mountaineersmade history by conquering the forbidding mountain. They did it oneafter the other.The three were Leo Oracion, who began his assault on May 13 andreached the summit on May 17, Erwin Emata (May 15-18) and RomeoGarduce (May 14-19).Another mountaineer, Dale Abenojar, claimed to have successfullyclimbed the Everest a few days before Oracion did. But some members ofthe Filipino mountaineering community doubted his claim.Sendoff from FVROracion and Emata left with the all-woman summit team on the Bangkokflight. They will act as expedition leaders and will stay at theEverest base camp to direct the climb of the three Filipinas.Expedition physician Ted Esguerra also joined the group and would beon medical duty throughout the summit attempt.Former President Fidel Ramos, an avid supporter of the Everest team,gave the group a sendoff at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport.

Ramos, who turned 79 Sunday, also gave a birthday treat to the team byhanding them a cash donation.From Thailand, the team will change planes for the Nepalese capital ofKatmandu. They will then travel to the Solu Khumbu area in Nepal fortwo weeks of acclimatization, and then move to the Everest base campfor another month of adapting to the mountain's weather, Belarmino said.Proving their mettleThe three women, all from the Philippine Coast Guard, have taken upmountaineering lessons in India and New Zealand and have already showntheir mettle at mountain climbing, having scaled the sixth tallestmountain in the world, Mount Cho-Oyu.Located 28 km west of Everest, Cho-Oyu -- at 26,906 feet -- is about2,100 feet lower than the Everest."Compared to us last year, I am more confident that they can do itbecause they have an edge over us in terms of training," Emata said.He also said that the three women had trained at higher altitudes thanhe and Oracion did before the two of them conquered the Everest last year."So they have exposure, which is supposed to be the proper trainingprior to Everest … That's why we are more confident about them."Besides guiding the expedition, Emata and Oracion will serve as theirfemale counterparts' inspiration to succeed."They did it and they did it even if everything was not well," saidBelarmino. "They got through difficulties … They gave us advice and webecame inspired by their dedication to climb. We have the same goals,and if they did it, we can do it too."

Since 1922, a total of 186 climbers have perished in their assault ofEverest.The first time anyone conquered the Everest was on May 29, 1953 whenNew Zealander Edmund Hillary and his sherpa (guide) Tenzing Norgayreached the summit. With a report from Inquirer ResearchCopyright 2007 Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not bepublished, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

High School

2007-03-25T15:28:00.000+08:00

I recently met up with my high school classmates and I rekindled good old memories of my elementary and high school years. Those were simpler and happy times. Life wasn’t so complicated then or it could probably be the way I look back on it now. We were fond of so many crazy things and the whole batch had to do it together even if it meant we were all going to be kicked out of school together or that our graduation was to be deterred. Who would think that choosing between wearing a toga or a gown for graduation would cause so much of a commotion for high school students?
Yes those were simpler times then when you look at it now. My high school classmates are my best reminder of how wonderful youth was and that we owe it to ourselves to laugh at our silliness during those years. I remember those times when we had to put out our hands for the painful ruler slap rule for buying ice-candy in nearby apartments. I remember the cheerleading days when we wore yellow short skirts and white t-shirts with golden pom-poms. Oh and who would forget the daily ritual of singing the Philippine National anthem, the Panatang Makabayan, and our Alma Mater song “San Miguel’s always firs to call..” It was so good to be with them, so good to drive my first time in crazy Dubai traffic all the way to Sharjah Safeer Mall just to take a look and spend few moments with Sharon. And who would ever stop laughing if you were with Giovanni?? We almost felt like we were still in high school although our body shapes have changed. I really had a wonderful time. It really felt like coming home. I miss you guys!!!

Happy Valentines Day!

2007-02-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

Due to the upcoming Valentines Day, I am obligated to rekindle my dates and other beautiful love stories I have heard, which are true okay? So here they are:

1.) Best date I had which I can't forget....

2.) A friend who works at a hotel as receptionist told me this.

Their Front Office Manager was so mad one morning on a Feb.14 or 15 long time ago and was mumbling "How can people be so stupid? How could they do this? What kind of people are these?" In her curiousity, she asked what was the commotion about. The FOManager told her "I cannot describe it to you but I do not know what kind of people would do this. They ruined the whole room, the housekeeping guys are going crazy on how to fix the room or the bed." She was so adamant with her curiousity she sneaked and went into the floor where the commotion was happening and peeked into the room. When she saw the room, she cried....

The bed was filled with red rose petals, the guy who prepared the room had ordered the petals be showered on the bed before the lady arrived and they made love on it.

She went back to her boss and told him "You know what kind of people do that?? The most romantics ones and every guy should at least have a little bit of romantic streak in him but you certainly lack it!" The boss could not understand, he probably never would.

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

There is a runner up!!!

A friend of mine... she got 365 roses from her boyfriend. And they came in a big big bunch. She was so flushed with joy... Her boyfriend told her, each rose is for each day of the year that I love you. She was like melting... She was so excited and happy.. She was smelling the roses, basking in its beauty.. She was browsing them... Like she was looking for something in it.. Her boyfriend eyed her quizzily. And she finally blurted... So.. where's the gift??? Heheheh. This is a real story really. Funny yeah??

At long last...

2007-02-03T14:28:00.000+08:00

I have been idle, idle, idle....

So here goes...

Belated Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Three Kings..

Soon, Happy Valentines...

I was out sulking, moping but still wishful thinking... I have written a few stuff, gotten into lots of trouble, got some new toys, but still working hard...

I got a Pegasus Mobile Notetaker from my Airmiles... It was well worth it...

I am also trying to get the Baby-G shock... It should be cute..

My sister moved out and went home to the Phils last Dec.25, for her own good and mine I think. Now I am looking for flatmates... Anyone interested?

It seems so bloody boring here these days.. I wish I could go somewhere more green... Or more exciting, more beautiful...

We'll see in the next few months...

Okay, let's just wish the days ahead will be wonderful.. Ciao!

Epicurean

2006-11-22T19:05:00.000+08:00

I wrote this a few months back. I don't remember putting it here. I was often accused of being an epicurean. I used to be but now I am mostly not. Not because I don't want to be but because its just a difficult thing to do...

Anyways, just updating my blog. Seems its been ages since I have written here.. or written elsewhere... I miss the deity.

The Epicurean Soul

The epicurean soul dissolves itself into the magnanimous mysterious web of human life, always with one goal- The main aspiration of the gourmand spirit is the pursuit of absolute happiness for itself. In this quest, the human proxy is manifested with the divine power to enter into relationships and perform its most significant asset which is to make itself happy first and foremost. Thus, equipped with the mind-set rule that he, the E-spirit is only here to achieve joy for itself, all practicalities involved are well presented in order for it to actively enact his fantasies with all the necessary realities it entails. This provides him the most active daily rituals of looking into the circumstances which should bar or encourage him into vigorously realizing what it came to fulfill.

The Physical Aspect

The body is well versed into what it needs. However, with all the sham and abundance of materials ineptly promoted by various sources, the body sometimes does myriad intakes of what it doesn’t need at all. Superficial products to make the face, body, parts of the body, bloat, lighten, smooth, glisten, lose weight etc. These factors will not be directly tackled by the author because it requires scientific research. Therefore, the soul intends to focus on the colossal puzzling activity of lovemaking between two human bodies.

There are plenty of intimate forms of lovemaking but the most sensual activity of all time is that of kissing. The mere touch of two pairs of lips upon each other, locking two souls intertwined by a rapturous longing of pulling and tugging at each others’ lips, tongues, breaths. This sometimes makes the world stop from spinning only to stare and witness the spectacular experience of entangled desires. The moon with its pensive mood, must be sighing at the sight. In the most human gesticulation, he is resting his head at the back of his hands with his fingers glowing in delight.

The Emotional Facet

The most complicated phase in all relationships, this is where the soul becomes inanely, profusely, obsessively confused, abused and attached with. In countless ways the soul has tried to proactively eradicate all perplexities of the disturbing senses which underlie every human reaction to every circumstance, whether it be in reference to or circumference to the advocacy of finding bliss in this sometimes utterly lonesome world. But it has repeatedly remained as esoteric as it has ever been, more than it has been before, perhaps its arcane guises has tremendously increased a hundred fold when most people have started to try to understand it and explained it in supposedly explicit words. The more we try to explain it, the more intricate the ambiguities arise. So, the soul, vent on its sole desire, it limits the intake of emotions from the outside factors. Thus, for every ounce of pain it takes, it measures it with the glee, the delight, the elation. If the pain becomes greater than these or it affects everything the soul simply moves on to another level and pursues a different dimension which can endow him with better exhilaration.

Over, not over, over the moon?

2006-11-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

I recently received two gifts and have been wondering ever since. The gifts were bought two years ago. If it was true, what does it mean? Why would you hold on to something and give it at a later time? What motive is there? And if there was a meaning, surely the value must have gone stale?

So I took a guy's point of view and here is the response and here are the options I ought to choose to provide meaning to what it really is...

======================================
Of course more background data of the old relationship would probably add to the accuracy of my estimation of the offering of the old gifts and what is really behind it. But in the interest of speeding up the process of my come back to you I offer the following:

Possible Options (Graded 1 to 5 with five being most probable):

1. He was packing up for the trip and did not have room in his suitcase for these items and there is no real hidden meaning this than what appears on the surface (1);

2. He found them tucked away during his packing and realized that he had never given them to you and thought you deserved them for the good old times you guys had together(2);

3. He made up the whole story (he just recently purchased these items) in the interest of saving face as he wanted to get back in you good graces so you would write him while he is gone as he will be taking a job in some "Arm Pit" of the world and will be very lonely and would really appreciate you writing him as you are such a good entertaining writer(4);

4. The whole thing is a trick and he wants to charm you back into his life (for real this time) because he has been searching for someone better than you for him for the last 2 years and has realized that there is no one better; so he wants to try to win you back again (5)!

However, it is too bad he waits until he is leaving to "Bust A Move" back to you. For that I score him low. Oh the whole, if you think you were really "Over Him" then just let it go at that and chock it up to experience and do not let him "In" again to possible drop you as he did before - no use putting yourself through that again!

However, if you were really not over him from before, then show it and take the lead from him. Try to make it easy for him to get back in your good graces.
================================

What do you think?

Uella on the news...

2006-10-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

Girls strike back
By Kelly Crane, Staff Reporter

Watch out, the ladies are poised to strike - on the bowling alley that is! Tenpin bowling is fast becoming a popular sport and hobby among people of all ages in the UAE. But it's the ladies who seem to be going all-out to make a night of it.

Who needs bars, pubs and clubs when you can throw on your best casuals, order food and drinks from your seat and have hours of fun with your mates?

It's a wonder we're not all doing it.

Tabloid! met up with some of the regulars from the popular Dubai bowling scene.

Gina Smith has lived in the Middle East for 18 years, moving to Dubai four years ago.

The mother of two now says she couldn't imagine her life without bowling and claims it's been her lifeline here in the UAE.

She said: "When I moved to Abu Dhabi I knew absolutely nobody. The first thing I did was join the bowling club and felt I met an almost instant group of friends.

"It started off as a hobby as I had never bowled before but it soon became an addiction.

Competitive

"My technique improved and it wasn't long before I was hooked. I started taking the game a bit more seriously and wanted to get better in order to take part in competitions and tournaments. I am a naturally competitive person and bowling was a great way of feeding my hunger in this respect.
"My two children aged 13 and 15 also bowl and I think they are proud to have a mum who can give them a run for their money on the lanes.

"Bowling for me definitely started out as a way of meeting people but grew into an important part of my life.

"When I moved to Dubai I also made lots of new friends on the lanes at the Dubai Bowling Centre.

"Some of my closest friends I met through bowling and for that I will always be eternally grateful that bowling was ever invented!"

Champion

Uella has been bowling for just two years but has made impressive progress.

The UAE state champion both this year and last, her busy life has been strongly influenced by the Dubai bowling scene.

Uella was first introduced to the game by her mother, Elise, who is also a fan of the sport.

She said: "I had no idea I would ever be good at bowling. My mum used to bowl a lot and so I found myself down at the bowling alley. One day I picked up a ball and thought I'd give it a go.

"A local coach saw me and said I showed potential and the rest, as they say, is history.

"Many of my friends enjoy it and I think it's a really understated sport. It is cheap, fun and anyone can have a go. My friends who don't bowl aren't as easy to get to the bowling centre as they say they don't have a chance of beating me!

Lucky strike

"But that's not really true. There is an amount of skill in the game but I believe there is also an element of luck when it comes to bowling.

Sometimes my mum wins and sometimes I win. It just depends how it goes on the day."

Mother Elise, who is employed by the Dubai Bowling Centre, says she is amazed by the number of female bowlers in Dubai.

She said: "It seems to be very popular among women of all ages. We used to have a ladies night which was very well-attended but with tournaments and competitions it became easier to encourage ladies to bowl any night of the week. We are looking at the possibility of re-introducing the ladies night for beginners. Bowling is an under-rated sport or hobby and I would encourage anyone of any age to pick up a ball and give it a go."

Bowling's German origins

The modern sport of bowling at pins probably originated in ancient Germany, not as a sport but as a religious ceremony.

As early as the third or fourth century AD, in rites held in the cloisters of churches, parishioners may have placed their ever-present club, or Kegel (the implement most Germans carried for sport and, certainly, self-protection), at one end of a runway resembling a modern bowling lane.

The Kegel was said to represent the Heide (heathen). A stone was rolled at the Heide, and those successfully toppling it were believed to have cleansed themselves of sin. Although the peasants' club evolved into pins, the association remained, and even today bowlers are often called keglers.

The passage of time brought an increase in the size of the stone rolled at pins, and eventually the ball came to be made of wood. Many variations of the game developed, some played with three pins, others with as many as 17. A biographer of the 16th-century cleric Martin Luther wrote that Luther built a bowling lane for his children.

Community bowling

Various community bowling clubs have chosen Dubai Bowling Centre as home base for their leagues and tournaments. The biggest groups are the Dubai Filipino Bowling Club, Sharjah Filipino Bowling Club, India Sub-Continent Bowling Club, Singapore Community Bowling Club, and the Emirates Airline Bowling Club.

Aim of the game

Bowling is sometimes called tenpins. It's a game in which a heavy ball is rolled down a long, narrow lane towards a group of objects known as pins, the aim being to knock down more pins than your opponent.

The game is quite different from the sport of bowls, or lawn bowls, in which the aim is to bring the ball to rest near a stationary ball called a jack.

There are many forms of bowling, but tenpins, the most widely played variation, is the principal form in North America, Western Europe, East Asia, Australia, New Zealand, and Latin America. Its many variations include duckpins, candlepins, fivepins, skittles, and ninepins, with differences within the framework of each of the games.

You know you're old....

2006-10-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

You know you're old when you experience any of below:

1.) You look at some of your pictures and you wish you look like that still...
2.) When your date tells you that "she is hot" even when he is referring to Sheree (the Viva Hot Babe who I have never heard of until she walked into the stage wearing almost nothing.)
3.) You feel like your body needs lots of sleep.
4.) When you have little energy to do all the things you used to do in just half a day (swim, laundry, go to mall, hang out with friends, answer all emails, take lots of pictures)
5.) You forget when the last time you read a good book, even when you have just finished a really good one a few days back.
6.) Fewer things surprise you.
7.) Almost nothing surprises you.
8.) You seemed to have heard all the stories there is to tell.
9.) You rather wish you have kids than taking care of your siblings.
10.) You wished you were more mature with your financial matters.
11.) You contemplate on which guy you should have married.. (huh?)
12.) You wish you could rearrange your flat but are too tired to do it.
13.) You want to watch all the old dvds you have watched two years back.
14.) You have no idea who they are talking about, (turns out to be someone famous??)
15.) You see all your friends have kids. (Ouchie!)
16.) You get peed off with little things.
17.) It takes a lot of work to make you laugh. (Hehe)
18.) You are totally bored.
19.) You just want to sleep whole day or dream whole day.
20.) When you are making a list like this one I just made...

Cheers!

1 Corinthians 13: 3-8

2006-10-24T17:36:00.000+08:00

Someone sent this to me. Lots of us know this... But lots of us don't really adhere to it... But it still remains beautiful specially when we are hopeful... :) Eid mubarak to everyone from Abu Dhabi...

Love is patient, it waits for you it does not rush
It does not move faster than it's ready to move,
It is patient, it holds, it allows itself to be taken care of because it is so precious,
It is not handled with out the utmost care because it is patient.
Love is kind, sweet, Loving, it does not become angry with rage,
It does not yell, abuse, walk out or disrespect,
It puts all things in front of itself, it is beautiful.

It treats with respect, it is sacrificing,
It will do anything to show how much there is.
Love is kind, Love does not envy, it can not,
and it does not turn an eye for another,

It does not admire others or what they have,
It does not spend more than it has, and it cherishes what it has already.
Love does not boast, it is humble, it admits when it is wrong,
It says sorry, it does not say the other is wrong,
It discovers what it was that could have been different.
Love is not proud, it is selfless and full of humility,
It does not say what is not true, it always speaks the truth.
Love is not self seeking, it constantly seeks to show Love and care
and sacrifices itself, Love is not rude it does not mock,
It is not sarcastic and does not make fun of or put the other down.
Love helps, it protects it does not laugh at or hurt the other.
Love is not self seeking instead it seeks to show love to the other,
It puts aside it's needs and wants for the other,
It sacrifices it's time, it knows how to treat the other,
It does not put every thing above the other.
Love is not easily angered, it does not blow up over small things
It does not put the other down,

It does not manipulate through sulking, yelling and slammed doors
It does show mercy and forgiveness,
It works through problems, Love keeps no record of wrongs,
It does not hold grudges, it does not bring up the past,
It does not hold things over the other, it does not manipulate with secrets,
It does not say I told you so, love does not delight in evil,
It rejoices in truth, it rejects evil and evil things,
It does not allow negative things to enter into itself,
It does not allow harsh words to enter in, it does not allow lies to come into itself.
Love protects from hurt and pain, love guards the heart of the other at all cost,
It stands up to those who attempt to hurt the other,
It will not allow other influences to come into it's realm,
for love is a private matter, it protects from itself.
It does not allow itself to say what is not true or to lead in false ways.
Love always trusts and trust is built through honesty.
Love does not question in hurtful ways, love does not make accusations,
Love always hopes, it does not give up, it is encouraging and full of joy,
and Love is filled with the hope of things to come.
Love is being together walking in the land of the unknown,
but knowing against all odds that there is hope, together.
Love always perseveres because it is strong,
because it is built on solid ground, because it is not taken lightly,
it perseveres because it deep and profound, it is something that is built over time,

Love never fails when it is true, when it is honest,
when it is as the Love that Christ showed, a Love with out any expectations
a Love that is never changing, a Love that completely sacrifices everything
you have for the other, a Love that lifts up and puts the other
before them, a Love that knows how to treat and respect the other,
a Love that knows no bounds.
Love will never fail, Loving the way Christ did and showing that Love to others,
that is the Love that will never fail.

Specially for you

2006-10-22T03:52:00.000+08:00

You are not only deaf to what I say but dead to what I feel.

I always wish for us to be together but I mostly doubt we'll ever survive being together.

I know so many things. That you will never hear me, never will feel me, never will be there for me and that you will never be able to protect me. No matter who or what it is from. You always think it is absurd. You always thought I could do it on my own, that I brought them all to me. But you would never hear, never will feel.

Isn't it better that someone has to start life all over again? It better be me.

One day I will be strong enough, that day will be soon.

I Got Published!!

2006-10-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

Hey! I just found out today that I was actually published at the Innovative Magazine in UK! I corresponded with them a few months back as they were looking for writers and they asked me if they can published some of my poems and I said yes. This is what they chose...

Piano in the Old House
The broken chords, the lonely tune
Fill up this sad and empty room.
His voice unheard, her footsteps glide
The familiar steps, the known stride.
Scents of the past choke on my throat
As the song plays on, unsung.
Lost in memory, nobody remembers
The melodies we used to play.
My hands are tired as I flicker alone
In this lonely and empty room.
Dust kiss on pictures older than I am.
I wonder when time would go back -where,
I play the tunes so well and they
Listened in this old house,
older than I feel now
My hands trickle on these notes
As lonely as they can be, lonelier than songs
Have ever been. How often the piano cried
In the nights when nobody came
To play, to sit and play again.

Nice!

Scary scary thing

2006-10-08T04:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I did the unthinkable. I know it sounds silly but I have always thought of a name since I was 12, okay, since I was 19 perhaps. A name. It resonates in my brain, it lingers in my memories, it is my safest haven. It's like that movie "Only You" starred by Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. Yes almost like that. But mine was made up. I was looking for the perfect guy and I was a late bloomer. I keep making up a name, a person. Until I got stuck with a name and it was with me ever since. Well, the name disappears everytime I am involved with someone. Because I still live in realities. But recently, I had a fallout with myself and I felt destitute, desolate, confused, lost, miserable, depressed, you name it. The name came back again. It is always my safest route. My most intimate relationship in my mind, almost the perfect one. If only it was real. Yes I know it is not. Daydreamers can relate to what I am talking about.

So, yesterday, I typed the name unto google. Nothing came. Well, the name is really different, or probably, those named like that were just either losers or have not achieved anything better in their lives. Look who's talking. Okay, my apologies. I googled and google failed me. So I turned to friendster. I typed the name. And there it was, he exists. Honestly, I came up with a name after a dream when I was in high school. Probably fourth year high school. I remember that day I woke up after that dream. I was in a trance. It felt like, now I know who I want to be with. It was an eerie belongingness feeling of sort. So the name. No, I cannot say it here. I would not utter it. Not at all. Yes, he exists. And at a place that I like. When his profile showed up, I swear, I had goosebumps. It felt like my whole world turned over. Like, I was shocked. Mortified. Petrified. It is such a bizarre coincidence. It almost made me cry. But I swear I am scared off my pants. Everytime I wander in that profile, it just gives me that same feeling of eerie belongingness. For goodness sake, I am scared. The guy is probably insane. Or a murderer or a serial killer. Or a pervert. Man. And I built him up so high. For one, he was a lawyer in my mind. We had a joint 2 storey mansion with huge staircase and a grand piano at the ground floor. Everything was almost white. Yes, I am the one insane. Call me nuts but who in the world would not want a place where you can retreat to when the world is going crazy? Where can you go? Where else? Where else can you go when you just want to get away from everything but cannot go anywhere? In your mind. I can imagine the most vivid of all my dreams. In my mind. I get the goosebumps.

He even looks like he is a racist, like a member of the Klu Klux Clan. Too bad. I hope not. It is just so weird. Everytime I think of it, I run short of breath. It feels like a miracle that he exists. Maybe its just another girl putting up the same name we both came up with. I hope he doesn't think I'm a stalker, coz I probably am. If he lived nearby I would be knocking on his door asking him what he was doing when I was 12. Heavens above, help this woman under.

Let there be light. For now, I will resolve to my dreams where I know the man and he is kind.

Remember, be careful what you wish for.

Let the gods be around me.

Me thinks....

2006-09-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

Since my recent surgery, I have been glued to the television. Somethings are not worth watching but since I do not have cable plan so I am stuck with watching Arabic channels or One and MBC 2. MBC 2 is not that clear most of the time, so I mostly watch One. And since I have lots of time, I browse the net a lot too...

Here are my two cents worth of thoughts...

1. What I Like About You. - This series really sucks such lousy actors who try so hard to act or be funny which becomes so irritating. The series piss me off even if their ad is just shown. GRR.

2. Angelina Jolie - There is no one more despicable than her. She promotes this rainbow family, talking about orphans and love when she herself is not capable of loving her own father. What kind of human being is that??

3. Whats-her-name Johanssen? - This actress would look good in porn movies. I swear. Her lips are so ridiculously pouted and she keeps using red red lipstick she looks like she dipped her lips on red dye.

Yeah you got it right.. I am bored.

Ouchiee

2006-09-27T01:02:00.000+08:00

On Tuesday afternoon after work last week, my sister, I and a friend decided to go swimming. We went swimming till we became hungry. And when we got so hungry, we went home, we ate pasta with pork, and I also ate crap-sarap (ginataang mais of maggi), then I ate nagaraya. Then I fell asleep.

But for two or three successive days prior to that, I was on the spree on ironing my clothes. I rarely iron my clothes, I either just hang them or fold them or send them to the laundry shop to iron. But, since my afternoons were mostly free, so I had the penchant to do the mundane ironing of clothes.

Come Wednesday morning in the office, I was so busy. Wandering, walking, and there were meetings, and there were employment contracts and God knows what else. I was feeling this terrible pain in my tummy. I couldn't understand it. I never had major health sores. So, by 12noon, I decided to leave for home and asked to be excused from office (murag high school!). I went home and slept a bit. Then I woke up with such excruciating pain that it felt like it was tearing my insides. I felt like I was gonna die. I couldn't drive. My sister was at work. So I called up someone to drive me to the hospital. I was dizzy, ready to faint. I slept in the car. By the time I was in the hospital, I was groggy.

I waited and waited. They asked me questions. They told me stuff. It was a blur. I had ultrasound and I think there were three doctors who had to check on my tummy until they eventually decided to let me go under the knife. I had appendicitis. Eww.

I was admitted in one room. I changed into the green robe, they removed my nail polish, among other stuff. Then one doctor came to me, he was the anesthesiologist, he smiled at me and brought out a syringe into my drip. I was smiling. They then dragged me into the operating room.

Next thing, I woke up in a room, felt something on my right lower abdomen. There were two familiar faces in the hospital. One guy and one girl. The girl looked so concerned. They were both my friends. I was talking funny. I cannot remember what I said. Then the next time I woke up again, there were two familiar faces again, both my friends. They brought me flowers, I was half awake.

It's terrible. I have never been admitted in a hospital, this was the first time and I had to go through surgery?!. Ouchieee. I have my appendix. In a tube. Yeah, we'll make paperweight or keychain out of it. Maybe put resin on it.

I still feel the pain when I get up and when I go back to bed. I need to walk every now and then. To get exercise and heal soon. I don't like being in bed all day.

I wonder what caused the appendicitis. The ironing, the food, the swimming or the stress? Who knows.

Thanks for the concern, the calls, the flowers and the balloons. Its good to have lots of good friends.

I pray I heal soon. God bless the sick, the hungry and the broken-hearted :-)

Almost Despicably.....

2006-09-06T15:03:00.000+08:00

Walking on Thin Ice

2006-09-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

Shifting Weekends

2006-09-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

Get what you give....

2006-08-31T18:53:00.000+08:00

Hot Hot Hot here

2006-08-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

So Today...

2006-08-29T14:20:00.000+08:00

Flexibility of Faith

2006-08-28T13:41:00.000+08:00

These days when war, starvation, confusion merges with the rapid development of civilization people just want to grab on a little bit of hope, a little bit of faith.

Sometimes it is easy for others to tell you to go back to the basics, read the Bible. But with our hectic lives and overly crammed schedules, it would almost seem like a miracle if we get an 8 hours sleep.

Today we were late for the Catholic mass so we decided to go to the Protestant church and listen to the sermon there. It was my second time there. The first time was good, the priest was discussing mountain climbing. Today, he was lecturing about the message of God for us to become fishermen.

Book Tag Time

2006-08-27T12:40:00.000+08:00

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people.

Here is mine….
The Book: The Macintosh Way
The Author: Guy Kawasaki
Fifth Sentence on Page 123: (This is Jean-Louis’ insight, although he uses sexual prowess when he explains it.) -- Yes with the open and close parentheses
Text of the next three sentences (after the fifth sentence) : {I assumed that’s where I’m supposed to take the next three sentences, harharhar}
This chapter is about getting the right information to the right people by using an intermediary called the press.

Not the First Step {this is not a sentence but the heading}
The first step isn’t finding a PR agency, because hiring an agency leads to abdication of clear thinking. Most companies treat PR like disk duplication: “Let’s not bother with it right now. Let’s farm it out to the third-party vendor.”

Copyright 1990 Guy Kawasaki printed in USA

I borrowed this book from my GM who used to work with Apple in US. He was looking for this and I didn’t want to return it yet, so I hid it somewhere in my office drawer. It is in fact the only book near me, all else are just documents.

So, I am tagging Aynn, Yvonne and YOU! Move it! :-)

Hubbly Bubbly, pray tell, what’s gonna kill me?

2006-08-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

Well, today I felt a tingling feeling on my lower left leg just a few inches above the knee. I remember my brother telling me that I should not sit and rest my laptop on my legs when I work as the radiation might affect my baby-bearing organs or something in that line. Then I mentioned it to someone and he said “Didn’t I mention that to you first a long time ago before your brother did?” I was like, “Yeah, yeah like you always tell me that you’re the one who told me first.” I would say you were probably the first one to tell me the expression that I think BV/VB (my laptop’s name, derived from its innocuous color- Blue Velvet or velvet blue) is the best thing since sliced cake. Or so something like that when someone regards something to be so good that he thinks it’s a new thing when its already past its fad dates. Man, I do confuse myself sometimes.

Here’s a link on this but it focuses on men only.

Anyways, the tingling feeling area is actually where BV breathes that hot air from his battery and I feel that all the time when I work on him. I have had BV for two years now and I rarely use the tray that I bought from Ikea which acts as pseudo-desk for me to work on or pseudo-dining tray when I eat. Whew, that was a long sentence.

So I was thinking, maybe I will die of some form of radiation related disease due to this. But then, my family has a history of cardiac arrest, asthma, leukemia, apnea and some other forms of cancer.

With my recent love affair with the hookah (shisha, hubbly-bubbly or water pipe by some other names), I would probably end up with lung cancer as I have been oozing smoke with this thing almost minimum of three times a month on an average of two hours per usage. They say it is ten times worse than cigarettes. Who am I to refute? I am merely an addict.

Halaaaa shisha napud ta…. Dali!

I like this better.. Haha

2006-08-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My Obituary

2006-08-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Are We Cowards?

2006-08-26T15:03:00.000+08:00

Are we singles cowards?

I was out with friends tonight, one girl who lives with her mom and one girl who moved out of her boyfriend's place to be independent.

The wannabe independent girl actually is moving out coz she wants to get married but her bf of 1 year or so is still not ready to settle down. He is Lebanese, she is Filipina. She said she is so dependent on him for so many things. She cannot move without him, cannot go anywhere out without him. She earns as much as him, mind you. But she said she just finds it difficult to carry on knowing that the guy is not yet ready to settle down. I asked her, so what, let the time make him realize when he is ready to settle down. They both love each other so why rush? She said she just feels so low when his family comes to town and she has to move to another place so he can accommodate his family. And she also wants to find the man who would be ready to marry her soon. Hmnn. Okay.

The girl who lives with her mom has been told by her mom to not think of getting married, its way too difficult. Its better to enjoy single life. So she does at the expense of her heart. Her mom is separated from her dad for a long time now.

As for me, I fear marriage. It is way too constricting, the way I see it. I cannot even stand fighting over petty issues with a bf, I would either storm out of a conversation or keep a wall between me and him or just simply wish to end the relationship. And the worse I could do, or often do is keep the wall and pretend he doesn't exist even when he is just a few feet away from me. This has been the most annoying thing that men has encountered. My ex has said every time I give him the silent treatment he feels like slashing his throat.

We have an office boy who went to India to get married. He has come and has been a changed person. He used to smile a lot and was always eager to help in the office. Since he got back, he had a more serious aura in him and I was able to find time to chat with him and ask him about his marriage. He said his outlook in life has totally changed. It feels like his days have meanings, his spending habits has altered. The way he lived his life is totally based on not just for himself but for him and his wife and he feels like everything he has to do has to serve a better purpose.

I fear marriage for all its mystery. Yes, I still think that having a child is better and being married to a guy to raise the child together would be a lot better.

What am I actually talking here?

I just think singles have more freedom and married people have so much to sacrifice.

Whereas a single girl can confuse herself whether to buy another pair of shoes, the mother wonders how long the bag of diapers she bought yesterday would last for (and its not just diapers, its way much more than that).

Where a mother imagines how much she will spend for her child's day care schooling, the single girl wonders what nail polish would match her bag.

Not that I do that all the time, its just that, these things are easier to handle than worrying if my husband will love me for the next twenty years. Singles always have the freedom to get over someone without the hassle of changing surnames or meeting inlaws.

I fear the movement of relationships. That's why I stay still most of the time. When things get too much to handle, it was easier to break up.

I have learned so much from my previous relationships. One should not extend another day of suffering hoping things will change tomorrow. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. What if it stays the same and you suffer for the next fifteen years? Wouldn't you have missed out a lot on your life for being unhappy when you actually have the chance to be happy?

Misery loves company. There are people who get married for fear of being alone. Are they better than those of us who actually endure to wait for the best person meant for us? There are people who just get married hoping they will heal from the hurt of previous relationships, wishing the pain would go away. Instead, they become more hurt, more miserable for the longest time. That is probably the saddest thing one can do unto himself.

There are those who marry and realize they made a wrong decision and opt for divorce or separation instead, leaving wounded souls along the path.

And there are those who brave into the unknown and make things work out really well they breed beautiful beings into the earth and inspire the cowards to realize that the unknown is not all that bad.

Be Careful What You Wish For....

2006-08-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

A few weeks back, I was wishing I could go on a date with someone who I do not know. No, not the kind of date where the boy gets to sleep with the girl at the end of the night. That is not for me. The kind where the guy drops the girl home and they get awkward on the porch of the building either shaking hands or give each other a hug or a peck on the cheek. It was just a thought for me. Maybe I was bored. Need a good conversation from someone who doesn't know anything about me. Maybe I impress someone :-/

So, it was in my mind for quite sometime. Then all of a sudden, a colleage came back from his post somewhere in Africa, Djibouti to be exact. And he asked me for a date. He took my number. I could not say no. But I did not say yes. I didn't feel like I was up to it. I was either a wuss or he was just not my type.

I finished work at 5.30 and by 6.30 my phone was ringing, a number that doesn't have a name. I did not pick up. The next day I saw him in the office and pretended not to have done something rude. He asked me why I didn't pick up. I told him I didn't know he called. Liar. He said he did. I told him, I apologize, he should have left a message in my voicemail so I could have called him back. He said he should have as he didn't know I don't pick up unregistered numbers.

That was like 4 days ago. Yesterday he showed up at my office and chatted. I am glad I had to share my office with someone (office is renovating so I am not alone in my office anymore.) Having someone in my office actually made me feel more comfortable with having to not let unnecessary guests stay longer to waste my time.

When my office mate went out for a bit, the guy came back to my office and asked me what time I will get off work. I smiled at him and almost stifled a laugh. So he asked me if I want to have dinner with him. Well, it was actually easier to say "No, thank you" this time. It is sometimes better to say no than to be rude by not picking up the phone. So he said, "Okay then, thank you. Bye." I felt better.

Today was his last day in the office as he has to go back to his post. He was in and out my office talking to my office mate for his ticket. Well, to chat with us also a bit. After a few in and outs, he came back again with an envelope in his hand. He was hesitant, then eventually he mustered to courage to joke:

"Alfie, I have the operations allowance for the set-up of the office. If you say you will come with me, I would go away with you right now. Come with me then."

My officemate and I bursted out laughing and told him "Believe me, you have to go. That money would not ever be enough for me." Heheheheh

Customer Service in the UAE

2006-08-22T03:41:00.000+08:00

Well, tonight is one of those nights that highlights the lows of UAE's customer service.

Djahanne, I and a friend drove through to Dubai from Abu Dhabi (1.5hours drive) using Silverine to take a look at 3 Beetles for sale. So, since there is no Marble Slab (the yummiest ice cream in town) in Abu Dhabi, we passed by the Mall of the Emirates to savor some. The guy informed us that they will soon open one shop soon in Marina Mall. That would be a disaster as you would probably find me there every one or two days. Yikes. I told Djahanne to confirm to the guy that we are at the MOE(mall of the emirates) and that we will see him at what time. The guy confirmed 10.30. At 50 past 9 pm we left MOE to head to Crown Plaza in Shiekh Zayed Road thinking the traffic would probably stall us from arriving on the exact scheduled time. Luckily, traffic was not that hectic. So we were left with almost more than half an hour extra time to wait for the guy.

The three of us spared some good time playing guessing games on songs being played on the radio and watching people passing by. All sorts of people, from women wearing the abayas and hijabs, to men wearing the skimpiest of short pants. Uhuh! Men.

Come 10.30, the notorious 3 Beetle owner guy called Djahanne telling her that he is only at the Fairmont Hotel which is two buildings away from the Crowne Plaza. So Djahanne provided him of our exact location so he could come to us and show us the Beetle.

The guy showed 10 minutes later. I stayed in the car listening to music, Djahanne went to talk to the guy. A few minutes later I got a missed call from Djahanne so I egged on my companion so we could get out and see what the fuss is happening. Djahanne has a dismayed look on her face when she told me "He said we cannot see the car tonight."

Okay, to cut the story short, the local guy was actually an asshole business lad who had no sense of business at all. He, for all his stupid arrogance set the time, knowing that we are coming through from Abu Dhabi, told us that the shop closes at 9 or 9.30 in the evening. When asked how he could not have told us earlier, he just replied a nonchalance cold shouldered "But this is the business in the UAE." Man, what a prick. Total son of a camel! He did not even apologize. At all. So our guy ended up telling him "What were you thinking when you set the time for us to meet you all the way from Abu Dhabi? That we just travelled all the way here to see your face?" Man, that local guy really looked like a donkey. Not worth looking at all.

Anyways, this is just one of the tales of UAE customer service. Here are a few...

Buy your eyeglassses at Yateem. I bought mine for Aed.950.00. I mistakenly slept on it so it was bent a little. I had to bring it back to their shop so they can 'repair' it. What does the repair center in Yateem say on their wall?

ALL REPAIRS AT OWNER'S RISK.

fothermucking son of a gun.

Another case. I purchased lots of pants from Zara using my credit card for some girls we hired. I needed refund for that from my company but I lost the receipt. I went to Zara to ask if they could give me a copy of the receipt. I asked nicely at the guy behind the cashier's counter. The guy was rude and sarcastic. He said he won't be able to give me a copy of the receipt. That it was my fault I lost the receipt. I was like, hello? That is why I am asking for a copy if its possible because I made a fault of losing my receipt. He was a mean arrogant Arab who descended from I-dont-know-and-couldn't-care-less-where.

I asked him, "I would like to speak with your manager, please." Oh, and guess what he said? "I am the manager."

Me: "Oh you are the manager? What is your name?"

Him-the-%*X@^&: Mohammed.

Me: Mohammed, this is not the first time I purchased items here. I have spent a lot of money here and your shop assistants know that. Can you at least give consideration in giving me a copy of the receipt of my purchase?

Him-the-as%^&*(@): Madam, in the whole world no one will give you copy of the receipt if you lost it.

Me: Mohammed, DO NOT talk about the whole world, you are only representing Zara, you have no right to speak in behalf of the the world.

I was furious I called up their head office in Dubai and told them the story. I mentioned that if it was their policy not to give copies of receipts I would understand it that he declined. But to not tell me that and to be rude to me being a regular customer was totally despicable and that if they didn't do anything about him or my receipt, I will tell all my friends to boycott Zara and all their other affiliates.

After two days I got a call from Mohammed-the-prick.

Him: Hi, Miss Alfie, this is Mohammed from Zara. How are you? Craptalk, craptalk. Do you remember you were asking about a copy of your receipt (duhuh)??

Me: Yes.

Him: Please come here to our shop because I have prepared a copy of your receipt already.

What a nice man he became.

I will give you a story I made up out of the lousiness of most of UAEs shops.

In a trendy girly shop, a chubby girl walked in and looked at clothes. The shopkeeper looked at the customer to give her time to look. The chubby girl took a dress to try it on. The shopkeeper then went to her when she was looking at herself in the mirror.

Shopkeeper: Are you going to take it?

Chubby Girl: I'm not sure...

The customer was twitching her lips right and left as if not happy with how she looked.

The shopkeeper asked: What's wrong? The dress looks good on you.

Chubby Girl: I don't know. I look fat in it. (With a sad look on her face.)

Shopkeeper: Hmnn... But... You are fat...

Man! Really, you will go nuts here. Specially with all this humidity in the afternoon. Hainaku.

Movie Review

2006-08-19T16:30:00.000+08:00

I have seen lots of movies lately, old and new.

The Break Up
Lots of people said this movie is crap because of the ending. But I liked it. Its a realistic movie and the ending is just perfect. You can actually feel what Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) was feeling when she looked at Vince (I forgot his name in the movie) when they bumped into each other on the road after their break-up. Its like, "Man, I went out and made out with this hunk a few months ago and look at him now. I wonder if he is still the same insensitive guy." Well, you actually think or hope you could get together but sometimes, some things are just good on display. But hey, it doesn't hurt to imagine.

Superman Returns
Oooh. Brandon Routh is soooo handsome. Superman. I should have one. I have one. I guess. ;-) And if I were to choose one amazing thing, I like to be able to fly.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Crap movie. Really, Uma Thurman doesn't suit being in girly-girl movies. She suits movies like Kill Bill. Makes her beautiful. But to be in girly girl movies, she doesn't look beautiful and the movie doesn't complement her. The only good part that she acted was when she was acting psycho. Suits her best. Her eyes have that crazy insane look. Yikes.

For the Love of the Game
Bruce Willis acted the part of a guy I used to date/go out with once in awhile during my desperate/crazy moments. He also said lots of words this guy says. Weird.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Well, I didn't actually watch this. The trailer alone left me scared and it felt like evil spirits came into my flat so I decided not to watch it.

The American Haunting
This movie is good. And it really makes you jump out of your wits. Scary movie with a different approach.

Midlife Crisis?

2006-08-16T13:19:00.000+08:00

I feel like I am sixty years old, nowhere near where I want my life to be. Nowhere near where my dreams lay.

Too much angst in me, too much noise, too much confusion, it must be the world, or its just probably me.

My age is ripe, my mind is young, my heart is broken.

I keep thinking, I am young enough to have chidren but too old enough take care of kids, yet too immature to even grow up.

I have lived my life alone for quite some time and now it just feels like I need someone to watch over and take care of me. I have been there, done that but no one seems to fit the role. Everyone is just a disappointment. But then, it must be me. But then, it can't be me because I am fine being alone. Maybe its just that I need a vacation from all of this.

Brain for Baylie by Kimmy

2006-08-10T14:46:00.000+08:00

I came across this today and I just can't let it pass so I am putting it here. I hope Kimmy won't mind.

2006-08-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

All is Fair in Love and War

2006-08-10T14:06:00.000+08:00

Who was it who said that? Was it Ernest Hemingway? Or Madeline Albright? Hehe.

Its absolutely wrong. Fair is never in love nor in war. There is no use for pain, misery, hurt, wound, intentional death and heartache. People should know beforehand what they are about to do. They must be sure or else they leave trails of wounded hearts, broken souls.

Love is never fair and neither is war.

I broke so many hearts for you and you broke my heart in return. It must be the war or more painful, it must be me.

My Love Revived

2006-08-07T16:09:00.000+08:00

Me-Awaiting

2006-08-06T18:55:00.000+08:00

The conundrum silence of confused thoughts causes a cacophonic agony of expectation. Here I go again, anticipating answers to questions which gave birth to more bedeviling infantile questions.

Why can’t things just be easy?

Shisha sheeshaaa

2006-08-05T07:01:00.000+08:00

Any Form of Tobacco, DEADLY in any disguise.....

But shisha is really good, you must admit.

Transition Phase

2006-08-02T14:21:00.000+08:00

Saddest Times

2006-07-30T18:54:00.000+08:00

People might not admit it but these days are the saddest times of the year here in UAE. With roughly 10 to 15% of the almost 3-million population are expatriates from Lebanon and Syria, everyone can feel the tension that these people are going through.

With emails of pictures and facts being forwarded to lots of people, it is difficult to be indifferent. It just moves you to the core. Most of those wounded or killed are children.

It is just bloody ruthless - this war. I hope it will end soon. I hope the heartaches will be mended although that is an impossibility. I hope they will find reason to be merciful. It is a totally devastating scene, the children, the dead, the wounded.

The Piano Man

2006-07-30T14:38:00.000+08:00

Hey

Did you ever wonder what happened to that guy who was found wandering wet and silent in London?

He did arouse my emotional placidity. And I came across a reading of him today and dug up what I could. Yes, he has been identified. Here are other links about him.

Piano Man

I need to write more soon. My mind is getting weary, I am soaked in ennui.

Coffee and Honey

2006-07-30T14:17:00.000+08:00

Careers

2006-07-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

What career will suit your personality?
This description is a generalisation. If it rings true, you've found your career type. If it doesn't, return to the quiz, decide whether you answered truthfully, and not by what you think you should answer. Redo your answers and read your new results.

You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to stimulate your senses and your mind, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

Novelist

Photographer

Vet

Medical Technician

Paralegal

Geologist

Marine Biologist

Graphic Designer

Online Content Developer

Webmaster

Computer Security

Producer

Computer Programmer

Technical Writer

Systems Analyst

Meteorologist

Artist
You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be involved deeply in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others at all costs.

You trust what is certain. You only like new ideas if they can be practically applied to the situation. You value what is real. You use your common sense. You like to utilise the skills you have instead of learning new ones. You are very specific and detailed when writing or talking to others. You follow directions well. You like things to be laid out for you to do instead of working them out for yourself. You like decisions to be made. You don't like things to be left in limbo. You like to know what you are getting into before you commit to something.

You like to focus on the here and now. You enjoy completing projects. It is important for you to achieve and succeed. Therefore, you believe in working hard and playing later. You like to set goals and work towards them.

Discover your email personality

Chat on the Life in the Workplace message board

Test your emotional intelligence

A Smooth Transition

2006-07-27T16:24:00.000+08:00

An Earnest Prayer

2006-07-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

Oprah Oprah Oprah

2006-07-20T14:03:00.000+08:00

A few nights back we were watching Oprah Moments at Maria's place, Djahanne and I. The flat was empty except for the three of us because (Maria) Yvette's boyfriend and his colleagues are out of the country for like a month now.

We have planned to meet at Book Gallery and we did. We were supposed to have coffee at Starbucks but the line was too long and I told Yvette to ditch it so we can go to her place as she promised to make us adobo. So we decided to meet there as Djah brought Neo and I have Silverine. We went to coop on the way because I needed to buy cat sand (yes, Lewis's poo corner is so stinky now!) but since Silverine was parked way far from the coop so I said I will buy the sand at another time from Carrefour.

So now, we sat and watched Oprah. Oprah is indeed an inspiration as well as an icon (I actually wanted to write inspirational icon) and she must have moved millions of lives all over the world with her generosity and her show.

Yvette is doing the gratitude thingy which I might have to do too soon. (Like, hello? Oprah has got a million things to thank for her in life. She earns billions just doing the show.)It's been bugging me for days thinking about Oprah. Well, I am such a cynic and skeptic and the irony of it all is I want to believe really. But maybe I will be better soon. Or at least feel better soon.

I am way out of myself these past few months. Yes I miss the time when I was alone in that one room where my neighbors were always fighting. I could easily gather my thoughts then. But yes, I have to be thankful for so many things in my life. I will open a gratitude blog here soon okay?

These days, everytime I wake up, it seems like a drag. Like its a sensation that is so awful I want to get rid of it. I know I have told myself to do something unusual each day so that I would be able to take each day differently. But things just seem to slip out of my head.

Well, yes I admit, Oprah is a very good source of motivation, there I said it.

Cat Sand

2006-07-20T13:23:00.000+08:00

Since the flat has been emptied with a few items, I decided to get a sofa bed and more shelves as well as a new cabinet. I got them all from Ikea on their AS IS or bargain items. They were well worth the price as they were discounted like 50-70% off their original prices. My sofa bed has maroon covers, 2 big cushions and 4 huge pillows and the mattress was just wonderful.

I wanted to get Lewis some cat sand but Carrefour ran out of it. So weird. They now have this silvery stuff which I didn't get because they were five times more expensive than the last one I usually buy. And who would have thought Marina Mall would be so busy at 1 o'clock noon? What were the people thinking? Well, they probably thought it was gonna be empty, so there we were, all with the same thoughts, cramping the parking space and the roads.

There are few things that I need to do.

I MUST:

1. stop swearing so much.
2. save a lot more.
3. stop buying more shoes.
4. stop shopping for more clothes.
5. stop my obsession with Burjois make up stuff.
6. write more.
7. write again some more.
8. read my books.
9. finish my HS course with PennFoster.
10. be more happy.

The list would go on and on and on....

World E-Book Fair

2006-07-19T14:28:00.000+08:00

Hey, did I ever tell you about the World Online Book Fair?? Man, I should have told you. You can download lots of books to read on major topics and they are really worth it. Want to know why? Because they are free!! So get as many books as you can because this happens only once a year!

I will download them on BV soon.

Here are some details for you to know:

Free Access to the public from July 4th to August 4th, in celebration of Project Gutenberg's 35th Birthday

Advanced Search
Browse Collections

• Full Full Text Search of 330,000+ PDF eBook Titles in 100+ Languages.
• No Membership Required for Access to eBooks from 07-04-06 to 08-04-06.

July 4th-August 4, 2006
Download your selections from 1/3 million free eBooks.
We are serving over one million (1,000,000) files a day.

Welcome to the home of the World eBook Fair, the largest showcase for eBooks, eBook publishers, editors, and others working in the new world of eBooks.

July 4th to August 4, 2006 marks a month long celebration of the 35th anniversary of the first step taken towards today's eBooks, when the United States Declaration of Independence was the first file placed online for downloading in what was destined to be an electronic library of the Internet. Today's eBook library has a total of over 100 languages represented.

The World eBook Fair welcomes you to absolutely free access to a variety of eBook unparalleled by any other source. 1/3 million eBooks await you for personal use, all free of charge for the month from July 4 - August 4, 2006, and then 1/2 million eBooks in 2007, 3/4 million in 2008, and ONE million in 2009.

Ten times as many eBooks are available from private eBook sources, without the media circus that comes with 100 billion dollar media mavens such as Google. The World eBook Fair has created a library of wide ranging samples of these eBooks, totaling 1/3 million. Here are eBooks from nearly every classic author on the varieties of subjects previously only available through the largest library collections in the world. Now these books are yours for personal use, free of charge, to keep for the rest of your lives.
This event is brought to you by the oldest and largest free eBook source on the Internet, Project Gutenberg, with the assistance of the World eBook Library, the providers of the largest collection, and a number of other eBook efforts around the world. The World eBook Library normally charges $8.95 per year for online access, and allows unlimited personal downloading. During The World eBook Fair all these books are available free of charge through a gateway at http://www.gutenberg.org and http://WorldeBookFair.com.

YOU ARE INVITED!

You are encouraged to participate in The World eBook Fair, by downloading any of the 1/3 million eBooks provided here for personal use. The World eBook fair is currently scheduled for the next few July and August periods as follows:

2007 1/2 Million eBooks
2008 3/4 Million eBooks
2009 One Million eBooks

The World eBook Fair, Project Gutenberg, and World eBook Library, along with our other participants, join together to encourage you to assist in bringing many entire libraries to the general public and to encourage ever increasing levels of literacy and reading.

We hope the invention of eBooks will advance the world as much as did the invention of The Gutenberg Press, and look forward to the Neo-Industrial Revolution following the advent of eBooks, just as the invention of The Gutenberg Press undoubtedly led to the first Industrial Revolution, and your participation can help bring this new revolution in reading and libraries to the world.

We heartily thank you for visiting The World eBook Fair.

We hope you and yours will find lifetimes of reading materials to expand your horizons over the years.

Michael Hart's hint: "Start with the Browse Collections page."

I am not being blasphemous

2006-07-18T20:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how God- the all powerful, all knowing, (omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent) One can allow sufferring tostrike mostly the good people.

Heaven, they say is the place where we all look forward to. The everlasting life where happiness is everywhere, where there is no pain, no hatred, no sufferring. Why then did He give us life on this earth only to suffer in silence, be afflicted with diseases, be underdogs, endure such attitudes of nasty pigs, be hurt over and over again and just live not knowing or understanding why wer have to go through all these. They say it is our choice. Why? How come? Did someone choose to die young? Did someone choose to suffer cancer? Did they choose to have AIDS? Did they choose to die in their sleep? Did they choose to go blind?

God is all-powerful. He can make miracles. He can turn water into wine, rocks into bread. Why can He choose to hurt the kind, wound the patient, kill those who want to live? And on the other side, make the bitches richer, meaner and more arrogant, the merciless more powerful, the unkind wealthier?

It was because of the notion of paradise or heaven that everyone was looking forward to that the young blow up their bodies so they can sacrifice for their religion and end up in this everlasting life of being with 40 virgins and endless joy. Why do we have to be broken down here because there is a better life waiting for us after we die? Isn't it a bit absurd when you think of it?

They say hell is a state of being, it is a feeling of agony, utter unfulfillment, hopelessness, disenchantment and the status of total disarray in one's life. It is not the infamous land of ever burning fire, gnashing of teeth, moaning and groaning of voices of being in total pain. Hell man, that is happenning here on earth!

Heaven on earth is what I wish for all the good-hearted. Heaven on earth is what I wish for all those who are kind. Heaven on earth is what I desire mostly.

For me, sometimes, heaven on Earth is when I drive on my own and I listen to a really really good song. It is one of such beautiful pleasures. Or going to the beach and finding it totally serene, empty and just simply beautiful.

Heaven on Earth would be:

Sunsets
The sun rising
A-sailing-away
Snorkelling and finding all the fish surrounding you
Sleep
Waking up from a good dream
Being in the company of good true friends
Knowing that you are healthy
Receiving post cards

I wish heaven on Earth to all those who deserve it. We all need it every once in awhile.

Subway

2006-07-18T20:02:00.000+08:00

There is something about the sandwiches of Subway that makes me question myself everytime I am on the last three bites to finish the whole sandwich away. Suddenly, it feels like it was such a huge sandwich that leaves me bloated. Weird stuff in my head or maybe the sandwich is really big?

You've got to find what you love

2006-07-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

The Birthday-Engagement Party

2006-07-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

I attended Jane's party last night and it was a wonderful sight to see lots of Filipinos together. They were the ballroom dancers in some group where I used to attend classes.

The birthday party was also an engagement party. John had proposed to Jane. And I in turn felt another thud in my heart. Why do some women seem to be so lucky? I have known Jane for almost four years and know lots of her friends too. It was astounding to see her in a different angle of her life. She loves purple. The flat where the party was held was full of purple balloons, purple furry stuff. And John loves Jane.

It is amazing how one can turn one's life into a different route. And fate has a way of bringing people together. I seem to be blabbering here. I hope I would be able to come up with a good perspective in this piece I am writing. I just seem to be bubbly.

The party started at seven thirty and I arrived there at 10pm. Jane had already called me by nine pm and I told her I was on my way, when in truth, I had just woken up. My sister couldn't come with me because she had some catering party.

I wore my infamously new black tube clingy dress and I topped it with my ubiquitous teal half-jacket (knowingly, I wore this at Karen's birthday party and who knows when else too!). When I arrived at the party, Jane was on her third costume change. I saw the familiar face of John and he saw me. We gave each other a peck on each cheek. And he told me, I should have been there since awhile ago. He said he danced with Jane. Well, I did miss that. He told me to go up and see Jane as she was changing. And I went up to the three-bedroomed floor of the lovely abode which they share. Jane was putting on some pink dress. She seemed pissed at me for being late, but she was being distracted with the change of clothes that she couldn't focus on either emotion for a long time. So I gave her kisses on both cheeks and told her I will go down where the party is. She was happy to see me leave :-)

I went down to the lounge and know nobody. All these Filipinos and none of them I know. There were like 3 or 4 people that I remember from dancing classes. But the rest were totally unfamiliar to me. And I saw Jane's sister who looked exactly like her except that she looked more contented, happy and more beautiful.

The night seemed to drag, dancing and Jane changing clothes. I managed to take lots of pictures of Jane and John and I was also able to take a picture of Jane and her engagement ring. See the pictures on my phlog.

It was a lovely evening but it made me wonder when I will be lucky in love too. It seems odd that I claim to have lots of people who love me, but in truth, I do not really feel that. I also wonder what it is that makes people take that leap of devoting your life forever to someone. I would understand people who didn't have a choice, who could not find anything better, but then again, I think, it is those who choose and those who know that there is nothing better anymore that what is there before them. So how do we distinguish? Heaven should help me see clearly.

I Love Thursdays...

2006-07-13T17:47:00.000+08:00

I don't know what it is about Thursday that makes me feel so enthusiastic. I don't even have anything planned for the weekend because it is too hot here to go out and the malls are too damned boring.

But Thursdays gives me a feeling that I am able to stay up late and not worry about waking up early for work. Even Wednesdays makes me feel excited. Talk about boring life.

I am currently reading a few good compilations of books. I found an e-book fair. Courtesy of my Orb-UAE group, they sent me this link on the World E-Book Fair. I have downloaded a few and have to store them in a folder soon or else they will be lost in all the mess in BV.

So, at least I have something to read on the weekend in case I get really bored.

Tonight, I am going to Jane's birthday party and I have not bought her a gift yet. I was thinking of getting her mascara from Burjois since I was planning to get myself another one. Their mascaras are soooo good. Almost yummy. I got me the purple one and I would actually get another color. I have plenty of black already and blue. And brown. Hainaku. Here I go again. I was actually planning to write something meaningful here today and my thoughts just went astray. Talk about being really shallow and materialistic.

Anyways, while we are at it, let me just bask it in or in it. Whichever way you prefer. We are spring cleaning the flat and it is actually getting better. With some items being taken out (except of course for the box which needs to be filled with stuff for my Mama) we have more space to play around now. And I can actually take out my clothes from the luggage and hang them in the closet but I don't know if I will wear them soon or not. I still am on the black and white for the next few months. My sister suggested we keep one closet just for the shoes. Maybe. I wish she has the same shoe size as me, my shoes are exclusively for me because she wears size 8 and I wear 7.

Lewis has more space to play around also. I bought this laser thingy and he just loves jumping around trying to catch the red dot. Poor cat. But its good, he has room for his energy now. Man, this cat is horrible sometimes, he is trying to do something obscene with my stuffed toys!! And I thought the British Veterinary Clinic did his sterilization?? I thought if you do that you actually become a lazy and fat cat? Nothing seemed to work with this cat.

And oh, my neighbors. The kids, they irritate the c*&^# out of me. Sorry man, these kids just don't do it for me anymore.

I recently bought an inflatable bed as there is space in the lounge, its a good one. I needed it because sometimes when I am tired I don't like going to the bedroom(as if it is that far!!) and I just fall asleep watching some crap going on the tv. Man, I don't even know what I am watching. I must arrange the lounge to be able to put the books that I plan to read nearby so I can actually feed my brain something intellectual, if ever.

My memory seems to be so reckless these days. I just let things slip my mind. I asked a colleague before he told me maybe I just don't think they are that important that's why I forget them. But it cannot be. I boast the best memory, that is what I am proud of but now, I am just becoming an old rut that whines almost about anything.

Oh, what has the world gotten into? So many people leaving the company I work for. I wonder when is my time. It should be time soon. It is becoming ridiculous. I am becoming ridiculous.

I miss endless nights of doing something that I love and I am good at. Whatever that might be.

A colleague told me he was hospitalized for two days and was on gas mask because he had difficulty breathing. And guess what was the cause? No, he doesn't smoke cigarettes. Its shisha. Man, why do all the good things have to have bad effect? if you have sex, you get pregnant, worse you get aids, if you smoke cigarettes, you get lung cancer (well, I don't like smoking cigarettes, cigarillos are okay once in awhile), if you drive too fast you will have accident, if you drink and get drunk, you can't drive, if you dress nicely (because you are comfortable), people will say you look cheap (okay, this is just for some particular clothes), if you eat a lot, you become fat, and now, if you smoke shisha it will lead you to the hospital.

Really. Tell me why?

Oh, another thing, this ad was sent by a friend. It is funny really!

Oh, and why I love Thursdays? Coz it is Thursday!!

My Temperament??

2006-07-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Mada ikinai desu kudasai

2006-07-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Emiko Yoshida

What's your Japanese Name?

Aah Let's All Cry

2006-07-11T15:44:00.000+08:00

Your Life Path Number is 9

Your purpose in life is to make the world better

You are very socially conscious and a total idealist.
You think there are many things wrong with the world, and you want to fix them.
You have a big idea of how to world could be, and you'll sacrifice almost anything to work towards this dream.

In love, you can easily see the beauty in someone else. And you never cling too tightly.

You are capable of great love, but it's hard for you to focus your love on one person or relationship.
You have a lot of outward focus, and you tend to blame the world for your failures.
You are often disappointed by the realities of life - it's hard for you to accept the shortcomings of the world.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Yeah yeah. I heard that before

2006-07-11T15:11:00.000+08:00

I'm a Talent!

You're a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You're determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You're not afraid of a fight, and you're not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you're already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you're not willing to settle for an ordinary life.

Talent: 46%
Lifer: 36%
Mandarin: 46%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

Jehovah Jireh

2006-07-11T12:46:00.000+08:00

Today I went to the mall to get me some jacket. The one's which I can use to work. I noticed I am more alert at work when I am clad in some jacket and when my hair is tied up in a bun or in a ponytail. Something in the disarray of unkempt hair keeps me from focusing on some work.

So anyway, off me first to fill Silverine with gas as he was almost arid, thirsty and really dry. Then I went to pick up Djahanne so I can drop her at this Gardena Salon for a perm. I thought they do perm because I vividly remember a friend of mine who used to perm her hair curly blond and they really look nice. The ladies at the salon turned us down saying they don't do it. I in turn called up my friend and asked her, she said she doesn't perm her hair but had it blow-dried instead. Weird.

So we went to the well-recommended Nicholas (we do not know the name of the Salon, we just know the Lebanese guy) at the Millennium hotel. It was crowded and when we asked for he price, it was actually more than we thought it would be. But the salon was bustling with energy that we could not resist leaving. So we booked. And we got a spot. Anyhow, I had to leave for my quest of the jacket. Djahanne was yapping on the phone while I departed gracefully like a woman who just had a trim (you know that feeling after they do something with your hair?)

So I was off to the mall, with the lure of sale thoughts bugging me since a few days ago. First went to pay my Dubai Bank credit card which was quick and easy. Then I had dinner at Mugg and Bean and I was hoping to find the previous owner of Silverine for some refund. Well, just when I ordered, I realized, the guy has left that restaurant already for another job. So I lingered, chatted and finished my meal. Then I went to Mango, I ended up getting a suit which was actually pretty but a bit too formal. I do not know when to wear it, as with most if not all my other clothes. I left thinking of getting me those peach colored jackets sometime tomorrow or before the sale ends. Then off to Extyn, which didn't have much to offer for me except for a light brown jacket which was actually too expensive for its price. So I ditched the place. Next target was Promod. I ended up buying a really marked-down priced jacket of some grayins-greenish sort of color. I was thinking of wearing them tomorrow. Then I trailed off to Pull & Bear and Bershka but got really bored so I thought of going to Carrefour to get Lewis some catfood.

We are getting to the crux of this piece, don't be bored.

I was walking out of the mall when I remembered I needed to pay some of my credit cards. I thought of asking UAE Exchange since I heard that they accept credit card payments. Turns out, they do accept payments there. As I was waiting for my turn, I realized I need to withdraw more money to pay all my credit cards in the counter. So off I went again to withdraw. When I got back, I was standing to this tall fair-looking Filipina girl who was sending money to the Phils. She was sending something close to 2thousand dirhams or so. I stood there and had a recall of my past.

When I first came to UAE, I had noble dreams, I had better willpower. I had wanted to save 80% of my salary and send them home to my bank account to enable me to finish law school up to the bar exam. But, here I was, standing in queue, paying for my debts. Right now, I am just a girl with a big collection of shoes and clothes with huge debts on my credit cards. I felt awfully terrible like someone who has a disease.

And I went on with the recap of my day. I went to meet someone for some job advice. He asked me several questions, one of which was 'what are your weaknesses?' In my head I kept on screaming 'shopping!!!' I wish I could do something. And then in another light, I spoke with someone who was quitting smoking, I asked 'is it like shopping?' Man. I really should do something with myself.

How did I ever end up with such a huge closet full of clothes and shoes in boxes that I rarely get to see much more wear? I have become so materialistic I make myself puke. I miss the days when I was content with short pants and hiking boots. I long for the days when I am enraptured with reading books of Rudyard Kipling, Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson. I miss losing myself into more valuable things and moments which can really leave me happy for days, even weeks, even months or years. Now, I am impatient, easily bored and difficult to please. It takes more than a swipe of a card to keep me feeling that I have achieved something in my life here in the UAE. I get the thrill of actually looking forward to buying something as a spree and taking them home only to leave them in their bags lying on the floor.

It often feels empty too. It is a totally different scenario, my life. Perhaps there is a cure for this. Is it called going home? I wish it was as easy as that too.

I will look for the cure.

The Vizagra Attack

2006-07-10T16:49:00.000+08:00

When I download emails into my outlook I spend a lot of time deleting spam emails. They mostly promote viagra and fake rolex or some other fake stuff.

I have one here:

In our language vizagra means hinges.

STOP SPAM!!!!

Bizarre Workings of the Idle Mind

2006-07-09T13:10:00.000+08:00

Obscure thoughts seem to lurk behind my subconscious and they just appear and linger in your head for days. Seems like an awful obligation lot to erase them from my head.

Well, I have been mean in my head a lot of times lately and I always give sarcastic remarks over anything or anybody.

I have not been out a lot also because I was sick for like a week. Down with some virus flu that has a throng of friends named cough, sneeze, runny nose, back pain, shivering and sweating. Must be Lewis' virus.

My neighbours' kids are also becoming noisier each day. They await my arrival every single day from work and rush to my door when they see me. Nope, they don't want to see me, they want to see Lewis my cat, who, in all his feline arrogance would not even bother to go near the kids, instead, he nuzzles up to the wall, stops to look at them then nuzzles up to the wall again before he turns to walk away in his elegant purry catwalk.

My flat has been infested with messy occupants, the bedroom is filled with unironed clothes and who knows what else.

So many things undone these days. My Ali Baba script has been left to write for itself because of my stupid flu. And I just didn't have the energy to finish it anymore and just didn't answer phone calls. Sad, another opportunity wasted.

These days I am researching on "Ethics and Etiquette", "The Powers of Being Tactful", "The Art of Diplomacy". Google seems like an awfule waste of search engine. Search for ethics and etiquette, it gives you some society and some ranting site regarding work places. Type down diplomacy and it gives you a whole bunch of list of the game. Terrible. The more search engines there are the less they can help you. I would have to resort to the age old wonderful way of searching something-hit the libraries or the bookstores.

Dan Brown's set of books is on sale, Djahanne showed me yesterday, Aed.99.00 for the whole four books -Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons and two other books.

Ennui is seeping in these days also. I am missing something but I do not know what. Some sense of learning probably. Some sense of challenging task. I wish I can open up an art place near my flat. But spaces seem so difficult to find. Maybe tonight I will have the time to see around.

Office has been quiet, except for some all-time urgent issues that can leave you scampering around to get it done only to find out later that it is needed next week. Aah. The joys of being employed.

Just this year alone, there were like 8 people who left the company. Weird times.

Yesterday I ordered in chocolate with banana crepe and fish n chips. I ate a bit portion of it and brought it home with me. Then I changed clothes and went to Abu Dhabi Mall to meet Tin, Bry and Djah. We stayed at Mugg n Bean and I ordered caffe latte while the rest ordered meals. I was looking at the Famous M&B breakfast and I felt hungry so I ordered. But it took them awhile to prepare it and by the time it was ready the gang was almost done with their meals so I ordered mine to-go. It is yummy food. And healthy too.

Ohhh. So many things I want to do, so many things in my head. So many books I want to read, just so many things. Heavens help me.

Sleepy Head

2006-07-08T16:35:00.000+08:00

Funny Thought

2006-07-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

One guy went to the American Consulate.

Guy: I need a new passport please.
Consular Officer: Okay, do you want to renew your passport or is it your first time to get a passport?
Guy: No, I lost my passport and I need a new passport.
Consular Officer: Okay, please fill in this document. Do you have pictures?
Guy: I have pictures. I will fill in the document.
After filling the document, the guy went back to the Consular Officer.
Consular Officer reads the document. After sometime, he looked at the guy.
Consular Officer: I am sorry, I cannot give you a passport.
Guy: But why?
Consular Officer: I am sorry you have to leave as I cannot give you a passport from here.
Guy: Why not?
Consular Officer: (getting mad) Really, you think this is a joke? You must leave now.
Guy: Why can't you give me a passport?
Consular Officer: Because you are a Filipino not an American!!!

Hehehe. Just kidding.

Life is a Sitcom

2006-07-04T18:10:00.000+08:00

Little Miracles

2006-07-04T18:09:00.000+08:00

Recently, my faith has been wavering on great lengths, almost sometimes coming to nil. Must be some turbulences I am going through. So, to save me from doom, and to keep me sane, I had a sort of conversation with the Supreme Being. And I asked Him to let me feel Him sometimes when I need Him.

With my heartfelt conversation with Him, I asked for Little Miracles. His presence is astounding.

In my area, we rarely find parking at night in front of the building. I find sometimes at the back, next to the trash bins or just a little farther where its too hot to walk during the mornings.

So, my Little Miracles are the parking spaces just in front the building almost every night. 7 days in a row, my parking space are just in front of my building.

God is good.

Say Something

2006-07-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

There are people who say the good things even during the worse moments and there are people who say the worst things during the good times.

Some people are just born and bred tactful, though we may have a few of our intentional mishaps, but maybe because the times called for them, but there are just people born with chronic bad mouth with decomposing spittle in them that gets worse by the day.

Anyways. Why would people say mean things to someone when it is unnecessary?

Accumulative

2006-06-29T13:31:00.000+08:00

And so on...

2006-06-27T14:49:00.000+08:00

Shallow me

2006-06-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

Weirder Dreams

2006-06-24T12:55:00.000+08:00

Thursday again

2006-06-22T18:12:00.000+08:00

Its Thursday again and here comes the weekend with me not knowing what to do. Seems like its getting boring and boring each weekend. We do the same thing over and over again. I had a break last week because I was sick but now the weekend ahead gives me a silent welcome with an empty agenda. Maybe I should sleep again.

Sale is everywhere but I have to be wiser, my Silverine is going to be transferred in my name and I have so many expenses to prepare for. The insurance costs about Aed.2170.00 and they told me registration costs Aed.200.00. The downpayment is around Aed.4000.00 And I have a cousin who is going to Thailand to teach and he is loaning money from me. Ew. And I haveI have a friend I have to help also find a job in UAE, but this one seems foreboding, I am not sure. God's delays means something sometimes. Who knows.

So, the weekend. What should we do? I have so many things in my head. Go to Japan or France but these two seems quite unreachable, so I might be stuck with learning French and relearning Japanese. I know quite a bit of each. Aah. Here goes me, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Always eager to start but so lazy to finish. I know how to play a lot of piano pieces but its mostly the beginning. I know a bit of French, Japanese, Spanish, Korean, Arabic and I can sing in German. Hehe.

Yes, I think I should look forward to my weekend playing the piano (where exactly, pray tell me?) and learning French. This seems like a good idea.

Now my weekend is booked.

Roses

2006-06-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

I am delightfully enchanted with roses these days. These are for you.

You're a Fake

2006-06-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

Our office is pretty hectic these days sometimes when someone calls and ask me what I'm doing, I would say breathing, as in that particular time, it was probably the only time I felt that I actually had the time to breathe.

Anyways, there are people in the office that are just fake. They try to kiss ass but in such a blatant obvious way, you feel embarassed on their behalf. And there are people who just pretend to be dumb to get away from work. You would rather do something yourself than piss yourself with asking a person who pretends to be dumb to do something. Better the dumb you can teach them something but the fake, ew. Better stay away from them.

Some people also are good when they are in low level positions, once they rise up (sort of) they just become a**h***s.

But today I found out, my bumper was never changed and I have to pulverize Salah. That freakin guy got the nerve to rip me off. Man, he should be embarassed of himself. Silverine was making funny noises last night and I could not understand why. He had a bath hehehehe. And today I checked, man, the thing that covers the body of the car from the tire was actually ripped open and he was stupid enough to leave it like that. How can anyone be so stupid? And me, the woman, as they say, was gullible enough to believe him. Yech. Tomorrow when I get my voice I will have to be very mean.

Yes, I have no voice today, or I am beginning to sound like a man or something. After my flu, I had this swollen tonsil and then my voice is just coarse and it is such a struggle to talk for longer periods.

I went to ceramique yesterday to get my art works. I think I should go back there soon. Yeah, yeah.

I am dizzy also with all the tablets I have taken and I just need to sleep. I hope my voice will come back tomorrow. I have a concert soon.

Ciao.

What is it?

2006-06-20T16:10:00.000+08:00

What is it that when you are alone with someone and there is an intimacy that you share together there is that cozy feeling and you feel that when you are with him, you just lie there, snug, comfortable, easy (okay that is redundancy but I am running out of words here!) and the world just disappears. Like there is only the two of you together. But there are times also when you are together and you just wish that the world will go away and leave you two alone.

What is it? Is there such a huge difference between these two feelings? I would love to know.

Ooy. Taka lang!

Dating and more... confusion?

2006-06-19T15:02:00.001+08:00

When did going out with a guy equate sleeping with him? Do dates always have to end in bed? Do men have a ploy of actually taking a girl out and then planning to take her back to bed by the end of a date?

The most beautiful dates I remember where those times when we actually went out, talked over dinner or maybe coffee, or watched movie. I was either walked home, we chatted for a bit, or stayed at the park and then ended up with either a kiss on the cheek or an awkward silence between me and the guy because we were wondering and pondering whether a kiss was appropriate or not. And there are dates that you just imagine in your head.

The most intimate moment of a relationship that I have experienced is when I was watching tv and I feel asleep on a guys lap and woke up with a stroke of a gentle hand on my hair. This closeness is so soft, so rare and something so undefined.

Most relationships I noticed recently are just based on convenience, sexual experience and utter loneliness. Some people end up with someone because there is no one there anymore, others just jump into a relationship because they feel that the marriage wagon has left them behind, only to find out they are left in a band that is also stranded.

There are other people who go into a relationship out of spite, out of pity, out of fad. And others just date to make themselves feel good, that they are still in the market. And there are others who choose to have one night stands. Bizarre choices, weirder outcomes.

I must be missing a good date, a real date, with someone special.

I will take myself to cinnabon tonight.

Down with the Flu

2006-06-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

I was sick and could not finish the day in the office. I slept most of Friday and missed out the sale and the shisha as well as the bowling. I just spent the day watching movies and falling asleep in the middle of them showing.

At night of Friday, I decided to iron clothes. And so by Saturday morning I woke up, took shower and went to office. But I was way too dizzy and shivering. I was told to go home. And I did. I was also told to see a doctor, which I didn't do. I hate doctors, they are like mechanics, you go to them, you pay them but you don't actually know if they are telling you the truth or not.

I was in bed whole day drinking tea with lemon, biogesic, borocca c, pineapple juice, orange juice, water. By mid afternoon, I was feeling lightheaded. But I still continued to sleep. By 4pm, I was craving for sweets. I asked my sister to buy me caramel apple crumble and blueberry cheesecake from Starbucks and Tapsilog. Yum.

Movies

2006-06-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

I am writing down the movies I have seen recently.

X-Men - The Last Stand

Scary Movie 4

Flight Plan

Yours, Mine, Ours

Panic Room

Big Momma's House 2

The Bee Keeper

In Her Shoes